Struggling

It’s been awhile since I had a “10 Minute” day, or even part of a day. Whatever my count was, it’s back down to zero. A “10 Minute” day is a day I claw through ten minutes at a time). I’m really struggling through my day. I’ve talked to my doc’s nurse and he’s gone right now. The on call doc isn’t willing to do anything with my meds. The best they can do is tell me to go to the ER if I don’t feel safe. I see Chris Hall (my counselor) next week so there is that. But my doc isn’t back in the office until the 12th.
I’m tired of ending up back in the hole. How many more times can I climb out of the hole?How many more times must I climb out of the hole?