RIP Helen Milhone

Yes, that’s correct. My grandmother passed away very early Sunday morning morning after battling breast cancer for more than 33 years.

Before I go there, I need to write on what’s gone on since Christmas.

Lots has gone on since the end of last semester. My first semester grades turned out quite well – 3 B’s, a B+ and an A-. For Christmas I got a Kindle Fire and I LOVE it! It’s especially nice because I also have an Amazon Prime membership and can watch select tv shows and movies for free directly on my Fire. I’ve read several books, my favorite of which was Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. Over Christmas break I saw We Bought A Zoo with my mom and I’ve since started reading the book. My brother who lives in Seattle got me a rather large amazon gift card and not so jokingly told me I couldn’t use it to buy anything school related. I laughed at him, because it was going to be my book & amazon fun money . I can also use my kindle fire to read stuff from Westlaw (legal research service). The latest version of Westlaw that’s online (they have print resources too) allows me to email documents to my kindle and let me tell you that’s really nice!

All in all, the vast majority of my winter break was relaxing and just the break I needed from class. I spent break watching Numb3rs and reading books. I drove back down to school on January 5th. I had a psychiatrist appointment on the 6th to start the process of getting my meds through the university. My appointment on Friday went well and I like the doc. We also got the paperwork going to get Shire to pay for my Vyvanse as I no longer have prescription drug insurance. Shire makes Vyvanse and they have a patient assistance program. That Thursday my grandfather was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia the nursing home believed they caught early. They also found a sore on his backside that was positive for MRSA. That of course meant gowning & gloving up when we visited him. So he went into the hospital on a Thursday but the following Wednesday he flunked a swallow test. Friday they came close to having to put a feeding tube in but he passed another swallow test on Friday and that was averted.

Moving forward, the problem for moot court was released at 1pm on January 13th and classes started January 17th. However, the afternoon of Sunday the 15th I was talking to my dad online and he strongly suggested that on Monday I drive up to my uncle’s and see my grandmother. Apparently she wasn’t doing well and my dad mentioned she may or may not bounce back. So at that point I made plans to make the hour drive Monday morning. My dad said to give him a call Monday morning before I left so I could get the lay of the land and see how the night had gone. I gave him a call about 8:30 and got his voicemail as he was on a work call. My mom called a little while later and said that morning my grandmother was unresponsive. I spent a good portion of that morning crying and ultimately decided not to go up and see my grandmother. She spent the day in and out, sometimes knowing who everyone was and sometimes not knowing. I then talked to my dad and ultimately decided not to drive up – I wanted to keep the good memories of her & not the ones of her on her deathbed.

However, my dad asked me to stop in and see my grandfather at the hospital. My dad had planned to drive down and see my grandfather and then swing up and see my grandmother that day. With the change in my grandmother’s health, that wasn’t going to happen. So my dad asked me to go see my grandfather and talk to the nurses and get the latest update, including when he might be released. As it turned out, he was released about noon that day after about 10 days in the hospital. At this point they’re not entirely sure what caused the swallow problems. There are two possible answers. The first is that the swallow issue was caused by the pneumonia and would go away as the pneumonia got better (and apparently that really happens). The other option was that the swallow issue was caused by his Alzheimer’s and that it led to the pneumonia. As the swallow issue has mostly resolved itself, there’s no way to know what the answer is unless/until it happens again. Most don’t know it, but Alzheimer’s is actually fatal. The disease begins with the person forgetting people and other things but eventually the body starts to forget various bodily functions. So it’s entirely possible that his Alzheimer’s is progressing. Once my grandfather went back to the nursing home, he was so weak that he didn’t go back to the dementia wing (it’s a secured wing of sorts, with alarmed doors to the wing). He was in a general room where the staff had access to lifts and things since he was (and still is) too weak to do a lot on his own. He’s doing physical therapy and is slowly getting stronger.

Classes began and it’s going to be an interesting semester on the whole. Agency is important and will likely help me understand Corporations when I take it next fall but on the whole it’s fairly boring. Anti-Trust is going to be interesting. Lawyering Skills is dumb and pretty much what I expected – a lot of idiotic busy work. Evidence is good with the professor I have – he makes it interesting instead of just a bunch of rules. Secured Transactions is another boring one, but again important.

As for my Sunday School class, we’re learning the Book of Mormon this year and I have 6 in my class, including the three from last year. One of my new kids is the younger sibling of one of the three I had last year (and still have). Together, the six of them are much more talkative and at least thus far has led to better lessons. My mom pointed out part of that is probably due to the lessons being on the Book of Mormon rather than the New Testament. It’s certainly possible, as I know I enjoy the Book of Mormon more than the New Testament.

The first Sunday following the start of classes I got a sub for my class. At that point it was thought my grandmother wouldn’t make it through the weekend and I just had so much going on. However she made it through that weekend though she was doing very poorly. On the other hand, ever since talking to my parents the previous Monday, I flinched every time my phone rang. Throughout the last two weeks I’ve found it difficult to concentrate on moot court and classes. On the whole I’ve felt overwhelmed. Last Friday I had another doctor appointment to check in. Between Secured Transactions & my appointment at 1pm, I gave Shire a call to check the status of my assistance application. It had been received but not processed. While on the phone, the representative processed it and I was approved for full coverage! Shire is completely covering my expensive medication. The rep then gave me the numbers I’d need to get a prescription the following day (it needed 24 hours to be activated in the system) while I wait for the actual card to come in the mail. The appointment itself went well, though my doctor strongly suggested that I g

o across the street and get the ball rolling on counseling. The university offers counseling as part of student fees & health services. Monday through Friday from 11-3 they also offer walk-in appointments. So I was over there by 1:30 and was told the next available appointment for walk-ins was 3pm. So I elected to fill out the paperwork and stay for the appointment. I passed the time playing on my laptop. It was good to see someone. I have what they call a rapid turnover appointment with the same person this coming Friday. But on Thursday the counselors and counselor’s in training (doctoral students) get together to find the walk-ins more permanent counselors. If they match someone, I’ll get a call Thursday afternoon to make an appointment.

I spent Saturday doing research and starting to plan out my section of the brief for moot court. I think I mostly have a handle on it. I also learned that the legal writing professors have high expectations for Shannon and I after how well we both did on the appellate brief oral arguments last semester. That’s more than a little nerve wracking. I got up about 9:30 Sunday morning and took a shower. As I got out of the shower my phone rang. It was my mom, telling me my grandmother had passed away overnight. I cried a lot while on the phone with my mom. I knew my grandmother had continued to go downhill, to the point where my dad stressed she could go any day at any time. In fact, my dad spent the vast majority of last week at my Uncle Jim’s, where my grandmother’s been staying since she left the nursing home the week of Labor Day. It was still hard to hear, even though I’ve been expecting it. I did go to Sacrament meeting and taught my Sunday School class. However, I went home after the second hour. Crying always gives me a headache. I had planned to write for the moot court brief yesterday but once I got the phone call, that went out the window. Nate was awesome talking to me yesterday. He was the first one I told, as he happened to IM me on facebook not long after I got off the phone with my mom. Later in the day, he recommended watching Real Steel as my distraction movie, which I did. It’s a good movie if you’ve never seen it. Last night I posted on facebook that she had passed. No comments on it, but it was easier to do it that way as opposed to telling everyone individually today. I seem to do okay typing about it, but burst into tears when I start to actually talk about it.

Today everyone has been awesome about it. I’ve had friends come up to me & ask how I’m doing. Another gave me a hug. Another agreed, no problem, to give me his notes from this coming Thursday’s Agency class that I’ll likely miss to attend the funeral. After Anti-Trust I went to talk to Professor Jones, the prof I have for Evidence who likes to cold call on people to role play situations in class. I asked him not to call on me in class and his first question was if everything was alright. I told him that my grandmother had passed away yesterday and that I wasn’t up to answering questions today. He was awesome about it. I also let him know of the distinct possibility I may miss Evidence on Thursday as well. He had no problem with it and reminded me that he records his lectures and puts them up on the course website. He totally understood that my head isn’t going to completely be in class this week. Shannon too was great about understanding if we have to drop out of moot court. I don’t want to and I told her that but she understands it may be necessary.

All of this today has reminded me that the Lord knows best. I can’t forget that the Lord steered me to law school and then to this particular law school. Even now, more than two years later, I can’t tell you how my current university jumped to the top of my list of law schools. When my dad first mentioned it as a possibility that was more local, it was at the bottom of my list. Truthfully, I kinda blew him off. That was sometime in November. By the time I got my LSAT score back at the end of December, it was at the top of my list. Last summer I’d thought perhaps I was here to help the family with my grandfather. But now I know it’s also because of the atmosphere here. I’ve always been grateful for the very friendly competition, wonderful people, and amazing access to professors. Most law schools are hyper competitive with a lot of backstabbing and back biting and little access to professors outside of class. But after today, I’m even more grateful that I’m here and not somewhere else.

My dad posted this Sunday night on facebook and I wanted to pass it on. I’ve changed the pronouns and titles to apply to me.

What a fighter! A two-time, thirty three year cancer survivor. Grandma finally lost the third battle early Sunday morning but not without another fight.
Rest in Peace Grandma. You’ve earned it many times over.
Helen Louise (Wells) Milhone 2/9/1925 – 1/29/2012.

 

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

 

 

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