Just Trying to Get Through
Right now I’m just trying to get through work. Especially between the rough callers last week and the news that I’d be transferring teams, I’m just trying to get through everyday without putting in my two weeks’ notice. That’s how much I don’t want to go to work tomorrow, how much I don’t want to transfer, and how rough last week was. Yeah, it’s good to know I can handle the job but I’m really starting to dislike incoming, no matter how much faster it goes than dialer. Dialer’s a lot more predictable in what goes on. It may be boring, but I like the reading time and the predictability. The problem with incoming is that you never quite know what kind of call you’re going to get. As I discovered this week, there are some serious idiots on incoming too. Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m still doing some coughing and my voice still has its moments.
I also need to take some time and get started with finding a pdoc (psychiatrist) on my current insurance. It’s been suggested to me by my parents that I go back on meds now, rather than waiting for classes to start in the fall. I understand it’s a good idea, but the meds are expensive on my current insurance and getting started with a pdoc (and likely a counselor too) is a pain. I’m definitely going to figure out what I need to do to get my records send over from my old HMO. I’d really REALLY rather not go through 8 or 9 medications again before finding that Vyvanse is the stuff that works best for me without any of the side effects I had with the Adderall. For those unfamiliar, I was diagnosed with Adult ADD back in October…2006 I believe. Might have been 2005. Anyway, we spent several months going through medications and trying various ones. The Adderall was one of the first ones I ended up in the ER with a panic attack – my heart rate was fast. Essentially, we couldn’t get a high enough dose on the stimulant medications without getting side effects and the non-stimulant ones were worthless for me. The thing about Vyvanse is that it’s formulated differently than the other stimulants so my liver (thankfully) isn’t as good at filtering it out – that was my problem – my liver was too good at it’s job. However, Vyvanse on my current health plan is at least $50/month all by itself. That doesn’t include the $20 copay per dr visit (and generally med checks are every 6-8 weeks). It might have gone up, given that my health insurance changed this year. On my parents’ plan it was just $20/month. I’ve been off meds since January 2008, first because I didn’t have insurance. Then once I did, it wasn’t worth the $50/month when I was coping fine without it. However I’m well aware that going back to school and doing school work (and likely the profession of law in general) will require meds again. Otherwise I’ll never make it through law school and all the reading. My biggest issues come with reading textbooks (and to a lesser extent, the scriptures) and lectures and staying focused. So in the coming weeks I need to find a pdoc, get my records transferred, and then find out if I need to make an appointment to see a counselor too. I’m really hoping not on the second one.
"Life is measured not by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
