I just….

I’m not sure how to put into words what I’m feeling at the moment. I’m going to try, but it’s likely to be disjointed. 

I really wish I had someone my own age who I could talk about the Gospel with – someone who’s also a member.  I’ve never really felt comfortable talking with my mom about it, mostly because it feels like teacher-student, rather than peer-peer.  That’s definitely a requirement in my future husband though.  But right now I’m lacking that in my life.   I might be able to fix that if I spent the 35-40 minutes driving down to University ward downtown but that’s really a pain and is really hard in the wintertime.  Not to mention, I love my family ward. 

Another thing that’s really bothering me tonight is that we’re not having anything resembling a family x-mas party.  It’s just me and my parents and brothers heading down to my grandparents’ house on Christmas Eve.  WIth this likely to be my grandmother’s last x-mas, I simply don’t understand why the family isn’t doing something.  Granted, some of us got together for Thanksgiving, but Thanksgiving doesn’t hold the same memories.  There’s always been a family x-mas party for as long as I can remember.  I even have an old home movie of it at my grandparents’ house.  I have very fond memories of that.

On another note, I have a friend going through some hard times and I don’t know how to help her.  I’m truly at a loss.  I think for the moment, all I can do is pray and pray and pray that she’ll find her way.