The One Two Months in the Making

 
Two months? Seems about right. I sort of have this love/hate/tolerate relationship with OD lately. I love when people update because that gives me something to do. I hate it when nobody writes and I hate it even more that the sight is so slow! No matter what network I am on, the thing is so damn slow in loading! And then I tolerate everything else. I know a lot of people are talking about jumping ship and going to Prosebox? I think that’s right. I like the thought of a fresh start, but then I have to build my reading list again and then the whole finding time and content to write… sigh
 
Things pretty much stay the same in my life. Work is always the same, my personal life is status quo, no great loves, no great losses. Health wise things have changed…I have liver disease. It is not a death sentence, it is a warning of sorts. An impetus to change my lifestyle. It is a slow process and I am learning and still making tons of mistakes, but I will get there. I also broke a tooth and am in the middle of a crown. When it rains, it pours. Too bad the rain isn’t money..
 
I hate that I got out of the writing habit. It saddens me a bit that I have nothing to look back on and read about this time in my life. I am trying to work out some things and get back on track. It is hard to figure out what to cut out of your life, but I have to get back to me. Back to doing the things I want to do and stop wasting time dicking around doing nothing that adds any value or joy. 
 
I find the best way to get things done is to make lists. Lots of lists. Lots and lots of them. Lists of lists to make. Seriously, I am addicted to lists. I will write a list on anything. I have list apps even! A spreadsheet of nothing but lists. A notebook of lists, a planner of lists, my Outlook task list, I email lists to myself. I am like A Rod in a steroid candy store. 
 
I have basically stopped watching television. It is always on, but I don’t pay attention. I have only caught a handful of new episodes of some of my summer standbys. I just don’t have the patience/focus to sit through and pay attention to an hour long drama. On the weekends I try to catch up on a few here and there. I really want to get my DVR cleaned off so that I can turn it in for a replacement. The cable company is really good about switching them out. Plus my control doesn’t work and the light on the channel/clock is burnt out. Who knows maybe they have new models. Maybe I will make that my goal for the rest of August. 
 
I have had the best conversation with my friend tonight. We just get each other. It is so hard that we are on opposite sides of the country. Thankfully we have text plans that allow for marathon sessions. I miss her so much it really does hurt sometimes. To find someone who gets you and doesn’t judge you is so rare. A person who doesn’t care what you look like or what you wear. A person who just listens & who knows that you are there for her. A person who you can be totally honest with. I searched my entire life for that. I found it and then she found what she was looking for in love & moved. But she didn’t forget me. She is still there when I need her. Like tonight…marathon texting session – Over three hours long!!!!
 
I will be so happy when summer is over. I just want things to be more normal for me. I like the cooler weather. The regularity of work. The better television (even if I don’t watch much). Kids being in school instead of screaming their heads off outside right when I get home from work. Fall/Winter just seems normal for me. Needless to say, I hate summer. HATE it.
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So that is what is going on.