Prolific

There was a time, long ago (but not THAT long ago), where I would write multiple entries in a short period of time. My brain never stops. It is both a blessing and a curse.

I find myself there again. With thoughts pouring through my head. Sometimes they make sense, and I am able to cobble them into some semblance of coherent thought.

Sometimes they are not.

i fear this one may be the latter.

I feel. Too much, probably. And when I feel, it can overwhelm me. I’m overwhelmed right now.

With love. Fear. Sadness. Helplessness.

I am utterly alone. I can do nothing. I am on the bench, a mere observer to the events taking place. Event that May r may not ever have bearing on my life.

She has so much going on. I can’t help her. And my constant questions and concern only cause  her more stress.

When you haven’t felt Love in a long time, and you finally feel it, you would do anything to protect it. I have thought too much of throwing everything aside and trying to help. To travel to her. But I would only be a hindrance. I know this. But I don’t like this feeling.

I am alone.  Just like I’ve always been. And, as I fear, just like I will always be.

Always.