Blah

So I don’t know how to put into words how I feel. We had an amazing Sunday…then nothing on Monday. I kinda freaked out and got super worried. Why after one day you might ask…well, after two weeks of daily contact it was just weird. Tuesday I emailed him and we texted/emailed a small bit back and forth and I called him on my way to a friends house. The conversation (seemed) stilted and just…blah. I told him I would call him when I got done, but I didn’t get done until just after 10 (an hour later than I had thought). I texted him to see if he was awake and didn’t hear back from him. (he turns his phone off when he sleeps)

I have to admit that I was pretty upset last night. (side note: the mid point of my period which makes me emotional anyhow) But by the time I woke up this morning I was in a blah state of mind. I’ve been a blah state of mind all day. I did check my phone often during the day but nothing. Finally, at the end of my day (2:30 ish) he did text to ask what time I texted him last night. We sent a few texts back and forth and he called me around 7. We talked about what we’d been up to, he talked a lot about this girl that he’s friends with and works out with. (apparently I really needed to know all about her life) We even talked about Asheville and what we wanted to do when we got there. But now that I’ve hit the blah stage I can’t get out of it. He’s coming over tomorrow for dinner and possibly to stay the night because he will be out of town all weekend. I guess we will see what happens.

I don’t even know why I was so crazy about this. Once I got it into my head things were weird I had myself all convinced about it. Even as I felt what I felt and talked about how I felt, I knew it was silly. I still know it’s silly, but I can’t help it.

What the hell is wrong with me???

beth

April 20, 2011

Paragraph 2, sentence 2.

I get the sense that you’re feeling let down and are subconsciously thinking/knowing that maybe his not that into you. At some stage you set an expectation, it hasn’t eventuated, and now you’re feeling let down. I am always a believer that we know long before things start to chill over and prepare for the inevitable. Then when it happens we say ‘I knew it!’ if a woman feels secure in her relationship, she wouldn’t be feeling ‘unstuck’. G~

~Andrea Marie~

April 21, 2011

Nothing is wrong with you…Getting to know someone and finding the relationship groove isn’t easy, it takes time. Perhaps you feeling weird and putting all that in your head is a defense mechanism (no one likes to feel rejected or let down)…Maybe by telling yourself things are weird you feel you won’t be too let down if things don’t work out. But you can’t focus on that. Everything is still new, give it a little time and enjoy it for what it is right now.