Throwing things
My talk with Brent went very well – they pretty much always do. It’s a relatively new thing for me, having someone completely… gosh I don’t know. I consider him to be a trusted influence, a counselor – but also a friend and fellow addict outside of counseling. He knows me very well, but not in a relationship-y kind of way. Our interactions are very honest, he absolutely calls me on my shit, but in a safe way. I don’t know, he’s just someone I feel like I can be completely honest with, and he’s not a person that I need to hold back from. I don’t know lol.
*does the laurie*
Someone I’ve failed to mention here is Danny. I’ve known him halfway back to forever, since I was 14-15 years old. A long time ago, he and one of my high school bff’s had dated, I think she lost her virginity to him actually. She was completely obsessed with him, even tho by that point both of them were with other people, and he was always very off-limits to me because of her feelings for him. Fast forward several years and a couple of failed marriages between us, and we started catching up, only to find out (of course) we’d been attracted to each other back then, but circumstances prevented us from ever getting together. We’ve been in contact on and off for the past 4+ years, since I moved back home, and actually got together once a couple years back. Since then we’ve continued talking, a lot of flirting, but then I was with Steve for a couple of years and I’m not sure who he was spending time with. He texted me one day a couple months back, kind of during the Eric time, and over time we’ve slipped back into the flirty banter. He’s the reason I bought a new vibrator (seriously, who steals a used vibe?!?!) because the talk can get pretty… intense? Lol now I’m blushing ☺️.
We are are planning on getting together again soon, and we shall see where that goes. Very possibly nowhere, or a same-time-next-year scenario (young folks, that was an old movie reference) but whatever, I’m single and definitely of an age that I can make my own decisions. I do find it interesting that I’ve grown into my sexuality over the last few years, maybe not in content, but in comfort. Without “liquid courage” involved, sex is just much better. Who’d a thunk it?
NOTHING on the plans for today. Natalie may probably come up after work, and if she wants to go to group or a meeting, I’ll tag along. Otherwise I have no plans or intentions to get out of my pajamas. I’ve got dr appts the rest of the week, ugh.
Anyway, there’s a mini catch-up in my life regarding the men that somewhat influence me. Oh, and the high school BFF? Her name is Jessica – just add another jess into my life lol. Such a perplexing trend.
Next time, the reason I’ve been struggling this past week, and the things Brent and I talked about. Til then, Cheerio!
Sometimes life’s so much cooler when you just don’t know any better and all the painful lessons have not hammered your head open yet. -Anthony Kiedis