Saturday

It was a good day, but it started off badly. We got into trouble with my mom, who was mad because we didn’t clean the day before, but we cleaned, and they had left. We even put music on while cleaning because music is motivation. My dad then came back, and he started cleaning outside. He also played music with us. He was going to boil corn, but we didn’t have propane, so I gave him food to eat, and we went to the store together. He told us to get chips, and me and my sisters went to get them. He also told us to get ice cream because I had told him I wanted to eat ice cream. We came back, and we tried to put a movie on, but we didn’t have wifi, and they didn’t pay. So we watched movies on our phones and cleaned. Later, when my mom got home, we went to the store again. I drove, and how badly I wanted to drive so fast, but they were with me. He texted me the guy with whom I was still in love, my ex. I had posted something for fun that made it seem like I had another lover, and he replied to it, saying, “Who’s this for?” but in the “ohh, you found another one, niceeee” way. He would be so happy if I found someone else, and he doesn’t know how much it hurts. We talked again, and I told him about my friend, whom I had dropped because of him, and how we were not really friends anymore. He told me to try to talk to him. I told him I was too ashamed because of how I treated him. I told him, “I basically dropped him for no reason, I guess, but I’ll try to talk to him.” The friend I had dropped was for him. and he said okay, and I didn’t answer him again for the rest of the day, nor did I go back to social media. I logged on here today, and someone left me a beautiful note, which helped me a lot with my confusion. So I am going to try to do that. I have to get better; I can’t be stuck in this state and never move on. So that’s what I’m going to do.