K

I hate how happy he makes me just by texting him. I hate that I have so much love for him while he’s outside living his life and being happier than ever. It’s not fair. When we don’t talk, I cry and cry, but I also feel numb most of the time. When we do talk, I still cry, but I also get happy, and I feel more at ease. Is it okay for me to have him as a friend? Would that help me get over him? I love him so much. Would being his friend make me love him even more or just get boring? I don’t know what to do; I can’t drop him because I think as long as he’s in my life, I’m okay. And yes, I don’t need someone to keep me happy. I’m trying to focus on myself and ignore everyone, even him. I’m going to focus on myself because I need to be okay with myself. I hold a grudge against myself, and I hate that.