Mea Culpa

I will never forget that day. I can recall every moment as if in slow replay, every emotion and action taken. He never saw it coming and neither did i. I never dreamed my soul will be blackened by a neverending nightmare of disbelief and thoughts from an empty mind. His blade slowly pushing it’s way through my skin, slowly the red seeps through, first my skin and then my shirt. I remember the rain slowly washing it away as i barely had time to think. Pulling the blade from within myself i had only moments to react and react i did.

I took the blade, soiled by my own life and pierced it through his flesh. Knowing all to well by the look in his eyes i had taken what i had no right to. For he had merely only taken part of me, i had taken all of him. The man, soon to be only a memory falls to the floor and gasps, not only for air but for help. I felt the flame of my soul slowly extinguish as i knew at that moment God had forgotten me. I threw the blade down, turned, and walked away. Not even the rain could wash this away.

When i close my eyes at night i see him, his eyes, his cries for help, my blood, his blood. One day my body will stop and i too will become only a fleeting memory. It’s after this i often think about. Will he wait for me, for redemption or perhaps what awaits me is my redemption.

It was my fault…..mea culpa…..