Still Breathing

I’m sitting here in my Employment Discrimination class, wondering where the years have gone. It’s 8:50 p.m. and my feet throb from the 14 hours I’ve been wearing these heels; still not done. I’ve worked all day at my externship, and now here I am. These 17 hour days grow tiresome, and yet I haven’t even started them.

I’m graduating law school in 31 days.

31 days.

My, how the time has just slipped away from me. I feel so old. Old, and yet my life hasn’t even begun yet. Now comes finals season…graduation…then the NY and NJ Bars in July. Remember the days when I used to be chained up to the wall in the sex dungeons? You do, I know it. Well, now I’m graduating law school. And I’m good at it, too!

How ’bout that.

I feel like I’m late in the game…old to just be starting out. But so ecstatic to finally begin.

I’m single. I have been single for the past 2 years, almost. Since Kevin. And I’ve been too busy and focused to really even care. I’ve recently met someone, though. He’s a corporate attorney, brilliant, dashing and waspy; like a finely tailored, walking and talking, Dolce suit; someone my mother would look at, smile, and softly say to herself, "Hmm, yes…this is someone you SHOULD be dating." It’s new, and casual and easy. I’m not holding my breath. To be honest, I’ve a lot on my plate right now, and I’m particularly unconcerned with him. I like it that way.

I’ve changed a lot in the last 3 years. Changed and mutated and morphed, but I’m still me, still breathing. I went back and read through Criminal’s diary before I came here to write this. Wow. She was vivacious and pathetic and amazing and a dozen other contradictions all wrapped up in one. I miss her sometimes. She’s still here, but less…impulsive. She pokes her head out once in a while and I welcome her. I can’t be mature and responsible all the time, afterall. It’s not in our nature.

My next challenge will be finding a job. A real life, true blue LAWYERING job. It’s going to be very difficult, but I know I’ll be successful. I’m good at this. I would love for you all to keep in mind that I’m looking; and if you have any connections for me to network with about a potential job opportunity, please send them my way.

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Just don’t mention the dungeons. 😉