Steamy

 A couple of entries back I wrote about how I had been on a few dates with a new guy, Levi.  We talked and dated for about a month and then we slept together.  After that it became clear that he only wanted to see me on a sexual basis so I ended it.  Or so I thought.

We hadn’t talked for a long while–since December I think.  Then he started to text me again, wanting to see me and all that.  I politely declined all for months.  On St. Patricks Day, I accepted.

As I’ve previously written, I’ve been feeling really good lately. I stopped taking my birth control because I got scared of all the hormones, and I genuinely think that this has something to do with it.  I feel way less emotional, less needy…less crazy-girl, really.  So, when Levi was texting me this past Saturday asking to meet up, I thought to myself…why should I be denying myself what could potentially be a very fun chapter of my life?  Why should I be so focused on not getting myself into anything that won’t lead to a relationship?  Why should I skip out on having all the fun because the law of attraction tells me to?  [I also may or may not have just watched "Friends With Benefits" for the first time before contemplating all of this…*hangs head in shame*]

ANYWAY…
I said to myself, "Self–you haven’t had sex since the last time with Levi in like–November?  December?  You need this.  No—you’ve earned this."

So, Levi came to meet up with me and my friends.  We traipsed around NYC, bar-hopping, laughing, talking…we had a lot of fun.  Also, we talked about the last time we saw each other.  I really laid into him about it.  He apologized profusely and we agreed that we would be friends.  No more, no less.  Friends.  Friends who have fantastic, steamy, sweaty sex. 

And that’s what we did.  I went back to his apartment on the upper east side and we sexed the night away.  Our physical chemistry is off the charts.  I’m really good at sex.  I don’t know why–but I am.  I rocked his world.  And, I have to say, for a man 4 years my junior, he rocked mine as well.  He’s extremely well-equipped–the most well-equipped I’ve ever seen in real life, actually.  (And, I’ve seen a lot, folks.)  I’m getting flushed just thinking about it…

Being completely honest with myself, I do like him a lot and I wish we ultimately wanted the same things.  But I’m excellent at this kind of separation, so I don’t think it will be a problem.  I don’t know him well enough to have any real feelings, afterall.

So that’s where I’m at folks.  Perhaps I’ve reverted a bit…but I don’t think this is a bad thing.  Spring fever is here and I’m taking advantage.  I deserve these filthy, hot orgasms, damnit.