And yet…

He needs to be that man – solo first, as an individual. And it’s not going to happen overnight. So you either stay on the rollercoaster with him and HOPE he changes. Or let him go find himself first.

I was once asked, “When do you just give up?” It doesn’t seem like a hard question, except it was being asked to me by the girl who was in the process of breaking my heart. Again. I probably empathize with him more than I ought to, because I’ve been in his shoes. Surely not in all the details, but I had let someone down. Again and again. Regardless of how justified I may have been, or how irrational and impatient she could be, she couldn’t help how it made her feel. And she felt devalued, angry and resentful. Regardless of the issues, someone can always take the first steps needed to make things better. Even when they skid back down to where they started (and they will, more than once) they need to be moving forward. They need to do, not say. Less talk, more rock. Nonetheless, a problem is something that can be solved. If there’s no solution, it’s not a problem, it’s a characteristic.

My mom always told me that generally people don’t change all that much, no matter what they promise. I don’t know if that’s true or not…while there are exceptions it kind of seems like it’s true.