Alone at new year night

I dressed to go out to celebrate new year alone . After recent break up and very freaking nervous day , I wanted to chill and come back home . I went out but I was nervous from sounds , people , everything so I didn’t go .

I go to do what? I’m broken into thousand pieces .

I go to remember our memories of last year together?That there is not you anymore to kiss me for new year? to remember the places we were together? I go where???????

Maybe you are having fun now and i’m sitting in my dark quite room , crying and writing to calm down but I can’t stop crying . It’s been three days I can’t eat very well , I can’t sleep , I can’t not think about everything that you put in my life and left me without explanation . I’m full of questions that I will never know answers .