Thinking too much

Right now, I’m thinking too damn much for my own good about the loss of my job. The typical things such as why was I let go; what caused them to not like me; did my coworkers not like me. Also wondering if the not so typical things like asking for extra hours due to changed financial circumstances at home did it; if asking for my brother’s wedding off did it; or that the day I was fired I’d been contending with a horrendous asthma attack that actually required use of my albuterol inhaler and had needed to go home pissed them off.

I’m trying to keep in mind all the little things that are positives. Not having to force my body to keep a morning schedule when I’m a night owl; getting to go to the Portland Highland Games with friends; getting to go to my brother’s wedding; getting to celebrate my 9th wedding anniversary with Andrew; having more time for a social life.

Most importantly, I need to remember what my friends and family have said: ‘it’s their loss’; ‘they don’t deserve you’; ‘they lost a great employee’; and in the more succinct phrasing of my husband and a couple others, ‘fuck them, they don’t deserve you and they’ve lost my business’.

Why is that so hard right now though?