And it’s dark in a cold December…

It’s not a secret around these parts that I’m not religious. I didn’t ever feel like Christmas meant anything to me, because it’s just another day, really. 

But today, I feel the loneliest I can remember  ever feeling. It’s nice to see everyone happy, posting pictures and lovely messages all over social media, surrounded by their loved ones, and here I am, all alone in isolation.

I’ve never felt so far away, and more removed from my life than I do today. But, exchanging texts with my friends, speaking with my parents on the phone, and even a surprise Video chat with Shervy, all lessened the sting of loneliness. 

But as darkness descended here, in Ontario is was already evening, so all of the family dinners are starting at the same time Sam had to leave for work. 

It;s a profoundly feeling that, of your heartbreaking, where at one moment, it seems everyone you know is nowhere to be found, and you find yourself, on this day, of all days. a day of joy and togetherness, you are alone, in the cold darkness that is the isolation that I’m in.

I tell myself over and over,  as I feel the tears slide down my cheeks, it’s just another day…. today is just another day… but it doesn’t seem to work, as I feel my heart breaking just a little bit more, and that heavy weight of loneliness I’ve begun to associate with Christmas…

"And it’s dark in a cold December, but I’ve got ya to keep me warm
and if you’re broke I’ll mend ya and keep you sheltered from the storm that’s raging on…"