solstice

waking up late, tracing yesterday’s sunburn with my fingertips, feeling the way the heat is turning to goldenwarm skin. the phone rings. slip into the light blue bikini and jeans, walk barefoot to the pool. reading the newspaper, reading the personals out loud to make her smile, reading lolita for the fifth time and still getting lost in those details, that language.

absorbing heat. smiling in black cat’s eye sunglasses with rhinestones. the pool is a perfect aquamarine, and for a second, i think i can understand why people really want gems; it’s in the colors. how can we not want to hold, want to keep? cheeks and nose pink, shoulders darker. pouring water over my skin, watching the rivers and tributaries that form. letting my heart just soak in this scene.

if there was a goddess of lazy summer days, i was her incarnation-

at home, lying naked in the dark, feeling the cool air slipping across my body. reading more, dreaming up words of my own. in the afternoon, a long phonecall and buying a plane ticket to my hometown. driving with the windows down, singing along to old old country songs, hand soaring and dipping in the air, fingers dancing.

dinner at the rio, so full we could burst. the way the strip is like nowhere else in the world, remembering when i said i was ready to live somewhere surreal. watching the fountains at the bellagio, and this was the first time since i was a little girl that i heard the star spangled banner and actually felt something. dashing across the boulevard through traffic, an effiel tower full of pina colada, tomorrow’s plans, and singing along to the radio on the drive home.

and the sprinklers are on as we’re walking to our stairs. empty our hands, run spinning dancing laughing calling out to the sky. no moon, no stars, but water that we can image is rain, clear dark night that tells us someone’s listening. wet and smiling like i haven’t smiled in too long, she takes my picture. unlock the front door, coming home, saying

goodnight.