To Melanie:

Melanie,

Hey.  I’ve read your notes, obviously, and read the entry where you mention the whole situation.  I know you feel that you aren’t doing much to help me in this because you don’t know what advice to offer, but please, believe me when I say that you’re doing enough just by listening to me.  It’s incredibly reassuring just to have someone to listen to my ramblings.  I’m not looking for answers from anyone except the person who can give them.  And that’s Jason.  I’ve always just wanted to have someone to talk out my problems with, and more and more often lately, you seem to be that person.  I’m sorry if it puts you in a bad situation, or if I’m making you feel helpless, or anything.  Believe me, you’re anything but helpless when it comes to these things.

You’ve helped me in more ways than even I’ll ever know over the past months.  I honestly think, as far as females go, you’re my best friend.  I’ve never been more confident that I can tell you things and that they will remain confidential, or that you’ll just listen to a problem, or that you’ll give any advice you can when asked for it.  You aren’t fake, and I love that about you.  You are who you are and are happy about it.  I love and admire the fact that you know who you are, you know how to deal with the problems that you have, and that you’re compassionate enough to care about the people around you and to lend an ear, even if you can’t contribute anything.

I’ve changed over the past two years, in more ways than I’m sure I’ve even figured out.  I’m a lot more mellow, I don’t stress about things nearly as much, and I’m a lot more reflective.  I think abut things more, using my head, instead of my heart.  And it usually works, except when my head and heart are in conflict.  Then, well . . .

I don’t really know what else to say.  I guess, well, the best thing I can do is type out lyrics to part of a song, and hope they suffie to get my message across.

If you want to,

I can save you.

I can take you

away from here.

So lonely inside,

so bosy out there.

And all you wanted

was somebody who cares.

That’s all I ever wanted, Melanie.  Someone who cared.  I didn’t want to change the pronouns to fit, but, I didn’t type those with me in mind as the speaker.  And you’re the one who chose to care.  The first time, and this time around.  And I couldn’t be more grateful to you for doing that.

–Notes–

I cared the first time around also..but we had some stupid differences that don’t matter anymore. We both grew up and experienced more. But thank you for writing this. It meant alot to me. I’m glad to know I’ve been of some help to you..I’ve always been told to be a good listener. I honestly believe people need to figure out their own problems, but it’s always good to have someone to bounce ideas [SolarEclipse]
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off of. I know I do that often to you, despite what you think. Just reading this can make me smile, with the poems and random thoughts. Even you talking about Jason, because some of the things you write about him, explain how I feel about Kenny. It’s amazing, Love. But it can definitely be frustrating. I honestly believe that if someone can get through Jason’s shell, it will be you. I don’t doubt [SolarEclipse]
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that at all. I know Jason will look back on these years later in life, and know he had an amazing friend in you, someone who loved and still loves him unconditionally. Jason is lucky to have you in his life, and so am I. Yes, you have changed alot over the past two years..we all have. It’s a part of life..new experiences often equal emotionally growth. [SolarEclipse]