Things To Say? Like What?

I hate the closed-minded attitude of today’s society.  I hate people’s views of what "friendship" means.  I hate how so many are convinced that anything that doesn’t directly have to do with them is "none of their business."  That "they shouldn’t get involved," and that no one else should either.

I mean, where do people get off thining that friendship, or any kind of relationship for that matter, means that you should automatically support every decision the other person makes, no matter how stupid, callous, selfish, or vain?  And where is it said that someone isn’t a friend because they don’t agree with every little decision made?  I admit, there was a Hell of a lot more that seperated me and Dolly, for instance, than just her pregnancy, but you know what?  Once we got past that, we became friends again.  And though we don’t talk anywhere near as much as I’d like, I think we’re closer than we were.  And at least we don’t have any illusions about our friendship.

I just don’t get that mindset, though.  "Be happy for my decisions or you’re not my friend."  I mean, honestly.  That’s one of the most selfish things I’ve ever heard.  And you know what the funniest part is?  Most of those decisions, disagreed with because the pther person has more sense, are what ends up making the person miserable!

And you know, I do agree, people should have privacy.  But seriously, everyone being so obsessed with "that’s not my business," and "I shouldn’t get involved," I hate it.  If you’re friends with someone, then the things they tell you become your business.  I admit, it’s a thin line of the amount of action a person should rightfully take, but I think something should always be done.  Even if all that’s done is being a soundboard and then giving advice.  I mean, if someone is in enough of a self-pitying state, or determined to do what they want, it’s not like they’ll listen anyway.

You know what I think bothers me most, though?  The automatic assumption that because two people have fallen out, that neither one cares about the other.  I mean, that may be true on one person’s part, but what if it’s not?  I mean, if someone was seriously dropped for a stupid reason and felt that it was unfair, then yeah, they very much could still care.

An here’s what bothers me about that.  Automatically, because there’s been a falling out, if the one person tries to do anything, the other one will refuse to listen to anything because, "Oh, you’re still against me, you couldn’t be saying any of this for my well-being."  Naturally.

I admit, I’m not un-guilty of this myself.  But in recent times, I’ve been more the one not listened to because of some preconceived notion that I’m "against" whoever.  I hate small-mindedness like that because it undermines the entire idea of not just friendship, because that’s obviously something not shared anymore, but any sense of well-being towards humanity in general.  I think it’s just plain stupid that people can’t accept advice/council/general support from someone they perceive as an enemy.

I find that especially funny in my case, because honestly, I’ve been right.  I’ve predicted break-ups, I’ve gotten a feel for who a person is, good or bad, and I’ve been right.  Yet, I’m ostracized, told to stay out of it, oldI don’t know what I’m talking about, told that whoever said person is is actually someone great.

Yet I’m proven right a few weeks, a few months, or even a year or more down the line.  Yet still I’m not believed.

I’m not saying I’m perfect; far from it.  I’m not saying people should be coming to me, asking for advice about people they know.  I’m not saying that my advice should even necessarily be asked for.  That’s entirely up to the person in question.  I just wish that when I am proven right, people will remember that for next time.  Or, if we’ve split off, that I could get an apology for how I was treated for my opinions.

After all, I do truly believe that the people who are your real friends, the kind of friends to hold onto in life, are the ones who will "dare" to stick their nose into your business and give their opinions on it.  Because no one can be completely alone in decision making.  Everyone has a confidante.  And if it’s one that they don’t want, then I think that’s all the better, because they’re bound to be more honest than someone who’s asked.  Someone’s who’s asked won’t want to hurt your feelings.  Someone who’s not, and who won’t say things with malicious intent, won’t be afraid of hurting your feelings.

Of course, I admit, fear of hurt feelings may not stop a person, dependingon who it is.  So that’s an advantage for some.  But those kind of people are very rare.

I think people are so obsessed with only wanting to hear what they want to hear.  You know what I mean?  They don’t want to hear the truth of the matter.  They want to hear that their decision is a good one.  They want self-gratification.  And automatically, people who don’t give it to them "must be against them."

I wish that people could truly open their eyes and see who’s selfish, who’s not, who’s worth it to know . . .  I just wish people could open their eyes and see who a person really is.

Because people’s values aren’t based on how they treat one person.  They’re based on how they treat everyone.  You find someone who treats everyone else like crap, but they treat you well, then while that person may have some chance of redemption, they’re, by all outward appearances, not a good person.  Now, on the other hand, if someone treats everyone else well, but one person clashes with them, then they’re probably a good person who just clashes with that one person.

Yet, even that’s not necessarily a rule.  The reverse can be true, as can an odd combination of each, or more.

::Sighs::  Lost my train of thought.  Oh, well.  I think this covers a lot.

Oh, and Dolly?  Even though I used you as an example in one of the above paragraphs, no, I’m not specifically thiinking about you in all this.  If you want, I’ll explain in a letter.