Thanksgiving Entry

What do I have to be thankful for?

Yep, I’ve decided to do a theme entry.  Well, I could go into the mundane things, like I’m thankful I’m healthy, that I have healthy animals, that my family’s safe and intact, blah, blah, blah.

I’m in a good living situation.  I’m in an apartment with the man I love, even though I complain about and am very dissatisfied with the job at the moment, it’s full time and makes us enough that we can pay our expenses and have some leftover to buy things that make us happy.

But what immediately comes to mind is that I’m thankful for Drew.  I’m thankful for how much he’s opened up to me.  I’m thankful for the fact that we’re together this holiday season.  I’m thankful for how much more willing to talk about things he’s become.  I’m thankful for all the little changes he’s made, despite saying he won’t change.

I’m most thankful for yesterday.  He went to the hospital Sunday night because he couldn’t move his right arm.  I guess it was diagnosed as something called frozen shoulder, which, I found out today, does have to do with his rotator cuff, and he came home in a sling.  Well, Monday, I doubled and he napped on and off throughout the day back at the apartment.  Tuesday, the assistant from Redbank, this guy named Mike, was over here, but Drew was still determined to go in at seven and close.  I said he was nuts.

It was nice, though.  I woke up around ten to find Drew in his room, with both cats there.  So, I sat in his room with them for a bit and then we got up.  He went into the kitchen to make himself some coffee, but was all, "There’s no milk, damnit!"  And I hadn’t known we were out.  So, he was being all cute and complaintive, saying he needed his coffee, and I knew I still had money left over from my paycheck, so I suggested why don’t we go out to breakfast?

So we changed out of our pajamas and into regular clothes, he put his sling back on, and we got in my car to go to IHOP.  It was a nice breakfast, (even though I decided to get a dinner meal, lol,) and then we headed to my parents’ to see if a package had arrived.  It hadn’t, and as we were both about to get back in the car to leave, my dad came out and we ended up talking to him for about an hour.  Then we got in the car and went to Delicious Orchards so I could get my orkin’ big apples for the pie I’m making tomorrow.  On the way there, Drew kept complaining that I was cutting into his naptime before he had to go to work, and we’d exchange some lines about that, how I didn’t want him to go in, to let Mike double, Drew should just relax his arm, but he wasn’t hearing any of it, or so it seemed.

Outside Delicious Orchards, there were these greenery things with blue ribbons on them that I thought were wreaths at first.  I stopped to look at them, Drew behind me.  Then we went in, I debated getting a chocolate pie, but didn’t really wanna wait in the line for them, so I went for the horkin’ big apples.  I also got four horkin’ big grapefruits.  (Yes, I just happen to like the word "horkin’.")  Anyway, we checked out, went back outside, and passed a stand that was giving free complimentary apple cider.  Drew got one and asked if I wanted one, but I said no.  He took a sip and I asked if he’d gotten the hot one.  He made a face, like, why-would-he-want-that?! kind of expression.  I can’t remember what I said, but he asked me if I’d ever had it before and I said no.  (Which, I realize now, is technically untrue, since I’ve had sparkling apple cider that Pathmark sells, but I didn’t remember that at the time.)  He holds his cup out to me and I figured, ‘well, why not?  He’s offering.’  So I accepted it and took a sip.  It was actually pretty good.

We passed the area where the greenery things were, and Drew walked up to look at them more closely, and I heard him say something about how he should have saved more from his paycheck, he only had five dollars on him.  I thought about offering to buy one for him, but something held me back.  Well, we got back in the car and were driving down thirty four when I asked why he wanted one of those wreaths.  He said, "They aren’t wreaths."  I asked what they were and he said, "Grave blankets."

Oh.

Yeah.  Nuff said.

(For those of you who it’s not a ’nuff said’ thing for, Drew has a son.  Who was born and died on July 13th, 2002.  Yeah, also for those of you who don’t know, I have a thriteen conspiracy, so I found that date really, really, kinda freaky.  Not to mention the fact that July 13th?  That’s three days before my birthday.)

I asked where he was buried and Drew told me the name of the cemetery and told me what road it was on when I asked where.  (Yeah . . .  I’ve gone searching for the grave before, twice now.  And don’t you know, I think I was in the wrong bloody cemetery?)

Anyway, after Delicious Orchards, we went to Pathmark and picked up some last minute stuff, (like stuffing and paper towels, and whatnot,) for Thanksgiving, then went back to the apartment, Drew still insisting he was going to work from seven to close, and me still insisting that the smart thing to do would be to rest his poor arm.

I got kind of annoyed at him, and therefore went quiet, when he was still saying he was going in, he’d be fine, all that, because I knew he wasn’t going to be fine, and his luck, if he pushed himself, he’d only do more damage.  So, I left him to carry the lighter stuff in, (the turkey pan, the paper towels, and a bag of light stuff,) and I grabbed the apples, grapefruits, and the heavier Pathmark bag and went upstairs.

I put the stuff away and he started watching TV, much to my chagrin.  I mean, I’d decked out in a short denim skirt, it’d be nice to be noticed, you know!  Well, I made some kinda comment, and he said something to the effect of did I want to do it?  And I said yes.

He doesn’t do anything immediately, just finishes up what he was looking at on TV, then claims he’s going to take a nap.  I followed him into his room, where he strips down to just his boxer briefs, and climbs under the covers.  I got under them, too, and . . . Well, I’ll just leave this be, since I’m sure when Melanie reads this, she’s going to be thinking, ‘Ew . . . WAY too much infomration, here!’  But damnit, it’s my diary, and frankly, I like writing about this stuff!  Lol.  Nah, don’t worry, I won’t go into stuff like that here.  If I write it anywhere, it’ll go in my personal diary.

Anyway, afterwards, we got up and got dressed, and for whatever reason, I didn’t wanna get back into what I’d been wearing, so I asked if I could borrow something of his, and went to grab his jeans.  But he didn’t want me wearing his pants, so he pulled a flannel shirt that I’d bought him over and handed it to me.  Lol, the thing goes down to my knees!  And when I commented on that, he looked at me and said, "You look cute."    Thus, the Hedgehog was happy.

He went out to have a cigarette later, and I decided to come with him, since we’d pretty much been in the middle of a conversation when he decided to go out.  We continued talking, and he told me stuff about his exes, (yes, multiple.  He’s been maried three times,) and about his son.  I asked then if he’d one day show me where the grave is, and he said yes.  I also asked him what else was the reason he didn’t enjoy the holidays, and I was right; he said he hasn’t enjoyed them for the past seven years.  (Ie- how old his son would be, had he lived.)  I reiterated the same thing I’d said to him at Delicious Orchards.  Or maybe it was Pathmark.  Yeah, Pathmark.  That I wish he would try to enjoy Christmas and the holidays again, because his son wouldn’t want him to continue suffering like he is.  I said, "I think he would have been a good person, and no good person wants someone else to suffer."

We spent about an hour, hour and a half outside, and it was six twenty when we went back in.  He said something about taking a shower and getting going, but I said something like, "Drew, please.  Stay here tonight.  Rest your arm."  I probably said a line or two more, but whatever I said, he didn’t really answer me.  He just turned the TV back on and put water on to boil.  When I saw the water on to boil, I smiled to myself, because I took it as his concession that he was going to stay home that night.  I kept my mouth shut, though, because guaranteed if I tried to push for an answer of what that meant, he’d turn off the water, take a quick shower, and be out the door and all my convincing would be for naught.

So, he made pasta and we stayed in the rest of the night, talking about random things, watching some of Santa Clause 3, (which I still need to finish,) and he went to bed about twenty to ten.  I stayed up because I said I was gonna come to the store and grab the deposit to take to the bank.  So, just about midnight, I headed out.

Oh, yeah, also when we were coming back from Delicious Orchards, I had the radio on playing Christmas carols, and White Christmas, Bing Crosby’s version, came on.  Drew started singing along, and damn! he does a good imitation of Bing Crosby!

Okay, so since this entry is like, three days past due for being posted, I shall post it now.