::Sighs:: DAMNIT!!!

You know . . .  Freakin’ A!!!  It’s not fair!

::Sighs::  I haven’t talked to the guy in months, haven’t seen him in . . . I don’t know how long . . . yet one E-mail makes me wonder again and sigh with a sense of . . . being happy.  I don’t know.

This isn’t fair.  It’s not right.  I shouldn’t be feeling this, damnit!

I suppose what I’ll do is just see how things go when he helps set up stuff for Mike’s birthday.  Heh . . .

I don’t know . . .  It’s not fair.  I wish that . . .  I wish that now that I’m ready for a relationship, I could have one.  Not a dysfunctional one.  A real one, where we don’t have to hide, where there are no “surprises,” where the guy is sweet, caring . . .

Like I told Mark last night, what I’m looking for in a guy?  Simple.  A mix of the qualities and traits, (though not heights, lol,) of Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Aragorn.  Frodo’s innocence and sense of determination to achieve.  Sam’s stout-of-heart-ness and loyalty/protectiveness for those he cares about.  And a bit of his shyness, too. 🙂  Merry’s want to battle alongside his friends and his caring for those friends.  Pippin’s sense of cunning and sense of humor.  And Aragorn’s love.

::Sighs::  That shouldn’t be that hard to find, should it?

Guys who read this, if you’re like that and single, note me.  Read a bit more of this diary, get a sense of who I am, and note me.  Okay?

God, I’m using this as a personals ad . . .  This can’t be good . . .