Relationship & Book-To-Movie Rants

Melanie and I hung out at Friendly’s, (which was uncharacteristically crowded,) on Wednesday night, after I’d settled things at Brookdale.  We talked about a bunch of stuff and she showed me her new camera, which is really nice.  She had pictures of Brianna on there, who is absolutely adorable.

One thing we talked about was the E-mail to Jill I’d posted on here.  She didn’t think I should’ve sent something like that, considering as how the one I was talking about is Jill’s current boyfriend.  But I did get a response from her and it actually really helped me.  And the way she responded, it was as if we weren’t talking about Mike, just some random person.  It was more the commonalities between feelings that we talked about, because due to her experiences with Andrew, she knew where I was coming from on a lot of things.

To my credit, I’m purposely not badmouthing Mike to her.  Admittedly, I don’t feel a need to badmouth him, so I don’t have to put much effort into not doing it, but yeah.  My feelings are my own and that’s mainly what I’m writing on.  I have mentioned things he did where I know he did them, but I’m staying away from mentioning all the speculating I’ve done.

I admit, it stung a bit when Melanie said that he and Jill seem to fit together.  Even though I’ve thought the same thing.  It’s not her fault, of course, but it did sting a bit, because I couldn’t help wondering . . . didn’t anyone think that he and I just fit together?  Were we the only ones who thought we were perfect for each other, for however long we did think that?

::Sighs::  Melanie also doesn’t think I’m over it.  Him.  Both.  Whichever.  I couldn’t help thinking two things simultaneously when she said that.  The first was what I admitted to her.  That yeah, she was right.  I don’t think I am fully over things.  I’ve made a Hell of a lot of progress in the past few weeks, but no, I’m not completely over things yet.

The second was how can she say that for sure?  How can she be so certain of something like that?  It’s not like she can get into my head.  She doesn’t know what thoughts are in here.

Which led me to wondering how much my actions give away.  The little facial features and gestures and body language that people give away without even realizing it.  I wondered what other people caught and read from my actions that I didn’t even realize I was giving away.

And I wonder, as I wondered that night, when will somebody see me with someone and say, "They fit."?

Cuz apparently, she didn’t think Rob and I would last, either.  I admit, I should have seen it coming that Rob and I wouldn’t last.  Cuz Melanie was right.  He doesn’t have enough of a spine for me.  I need someone who doesn’t wish I could be happy all the time, I need someone who can deal with seeing me at my worst and appreciate me and love me anyway.  The way she phrased it was, "You need someone who’s not afraid to say, ‘Kate, stop it, you’re being an ass.’  Or, ‘Kate, you’re being stubborn.’"

And she’s right.  I need to find someone like that, but also someone who doesn’t have emotional/whatever problems up the wazoo.  Whcih brings me to an all new problem.

My standards for someone were already high.  I wanted someone intelligent, who I felt was physically attractive, physically able, (as in, he liked running around, going outside, to parks, beaches, etc.,) someone I could trust fully, and someone who could understand me.  So what if he had some problems?  It’s okay, we could solve them together.

Heh . . .

I realized last night that if I find myself showing even the slightest glimmer of interest in a guy, if he has problems, or I find myself becoming interested in him because he’s describing problems he dealt/dealing with, I kill any interest I had because I don’t want to deal with it.

My standards for guys have gone up that much more, because I want to find a guy who hasn’t been emotionally crippled by a past relationship, or some other equally devestating emotionally ‘interesting’ thing.

I think I’m screwed . . .

In other news . . .  Last night, I went to Domino’s to see if I could get my paycheck and to ask Jane if there was any chance I could come back and work as a driver.  Well, it seems that Matawan has enough drivers, but she said she would ask around to other stores and see if anyone else needs someone.  But as of right now, I’m pretty much out of a job.  Argh . . .

I did pass by Zaslow’s, (I guess they just moved, instead of closing,) and there was a sign in the window saying they were hiring.  I’m gonna stop by there later today.

After Domino’s, I went to Target, just to look at DVD’s and such, and I saw Saw 4 was out already.  So I picked it up and called Lexi to see if she’d wanna watch it.  (She hadn’t seen any of the other three, so we had a Saw marathon recently.)  I picked her up, we got drinks at Pathmark, made deviled eggs, and watched the movie.

I know a lot of people are complaining about the Saw movies and how they keep coming out with new ones, but I don’t have a huge problem with it.  I mean, most movies, especially horror movies, the sequels just lose something.  It’s sort of like making a copy of an original picture and the more movies that are made, the more copies are made of the copies.  You know?  The original, and the qualities thereof, are lost amidst all the continuations.  But I don’t think that’s the case with Saw.  I like the things they keep revealing in these movies and the questions that pop up because of the things they don’t.  Not to mention that no matter what anyone says about the plots of the movies, no one can claim that the effects aren’t absolutely, freakishly amazing.

I also picked up Sense and Sensibility.  It was five dollars, it has Hugh Laurie in it, and it’s undoubtedly the movie this one YouTube video had snippets of it in, with Alan Rickman and Kate Winslet.  To be honest, I don’t see how people consider Alan Rickman to be so gorgeous and everything.  He’s a great Snape, (though I happened to see Order of the Phoenix {I’m not even going to go into how much the things they took out bugged me.} and after Harry actually gets into Snape’s head, [which was cut short!] Snape should have spazzed.  If I recall correctly, he spazzed in the book.  But in the movie, it was just "Get.  Out.") but part of the reson he makes such a good Snape is because he looks the part.  And Snape ain’t supposed to be handsome, you know?  Heck, I think the only thing that would have made Alan Rickman better as the part of Snape is if he was more gaunt-looking.  Cuz the description of Snape just gives me the idea of someone thin and spindly.  And Alan Rickman carries it off well, but he’s too . . .  for lack of a better word, thick.  Muscular, maybe?  But his hands, his chest, etc., are too thick.

Other than that, though, for the looks of the characters, I had almost no complaints.  Though Lupin didn’t look anything like I pictured him.  That,

I didn’t like.  And what happened to the whole romance angle in Order of the Phoenix between him and Tonks?  What the Hell?  And how could they take out Fred and George’s best line?  "Give ’em Hell, Peeves."  Of course, it could be due to the fact that they completely removed Peeves from the story.  How can you take out Peeves???

Okay, getting of this rant now, cuz if I don’t, I’ll be at it all day.  See, this is why I’ve entertained thoughts of being a director.  Because that way, I could make movies like this and I could say what we’re gonna leave in and take out.  Heck, I would love it if the Homeland, Exile, Sojourn, and so on books by R.A. Salvatore were made into movies, but God only knows how much they would be mutilated.

Well, I should go.  Must take shower and see about possible employment opportunities.