Promises Of Deception

Yeah, I’m giving up the Beatle song title theme entry titles.  I was thinking on an entry that Jill wrote, about why she’s wary of getting into relationships now, because nothing in them is truly certain.  I, too, have many reasons to believe that.  After everything I’ve been through, all the betrayals, everything, I have pretty much no reason to trust anyone.  I mean, the one person I thought I’d know for the rest of my life, people on here are coaxing me to write to now to reestablish communication.  I got lied to by one person about him having cancer.  I’ve been stabbed in the back numerous times, actually wanted to stop caring throughout my life, actually found myself achieving that in the more recent past . . .

So, why do I bother trusting?  ::smiles::  Well, I know why I do now.  Jason.  I suppose I’ve been thinking on it since our IM a few nights ago.  He was pestering/annoying/bothering me with questions and arguments of why don’t I and I should write to Dolly, and I was insisting that while I wanted to, I didn’t want to be hurt again.  At one point, he seemed to be getting annoyed, and said, “Do you want my help or not?”

Baby Hedgehog13:  What a question.
Fortus Aquillas:  well?
Baby Hedgehog13:  Well what?
Baby Hedgehog13:  What kind of question is that, especially to me?
Fortus Aquillas:  one I want an answer to…
Fortus Aquillas:  want=would like

Well, I didn’t respond immediately, because I was looking over the conversation.  The lines above, and before that.  You see, him saying “one I would like an answer to,” stopped me.  Because it sounded too much like something that I would say to him, if the situation were reversed.  I believe I have said the same thing to him in the past, actually.  So, the next thing I typed was, “We’ve switched roles, you know.”

After that, we talked more calmly, and straightened everything out once again.  Not only that, but he said, “An argument isn’t worth losing a best friend.”

I can’t define our friendship, except to say that we are best friends, and I feel more comfortable telling him things than I have with anyone else in my life, with the possible, and only *possible* exception of Mike.  He’s a curious person, Jason is.  And an . . . odd one . . .  Heh, heh.  Well, I’m not going into that one here.  Actually, truthfully, I hope my memory is as good as I profess, because one thing that he told me last night isn’t being written anywhere.

Oh, by the way, this is for Jill’s benefit.  Ask Andrew if he still knows Antonio, okay?

One thing I can’t wait for.  Jason agreed to come with me to a roller rink on Tuesday.  I can’t wait to go there.  I love roller skating, and I can’t wait to go skate with him.

–Notes–

D.T.A. = Don’t Trust Anyone. The way I see it, a relationship/marriage is like a career. There’s no certainty because it could end at any time without prior consent of both parties. [DorkAlert]