Okay, First Things First

Jill, I promised advice, and here it is. (I’ve also talked with Melanie, and she knows Andrew.) So, here it is, and I hope it helps. If Andrew’s being clingy, and you feel smothered, tell him. Be honest, because the more you hide it, the worse things’ll get, because he won’t know what’s wrong, and you’ll feel all the more smothered.

(I feel a song coming on . . .)

Sorry. I’m listening to Beauty and the Beast, the Broadway version, and I just want to belt out this song. Anyway, I understand where you’re coming from. When I was outside tonight, I was thinking about it, and I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I am anyway. You, me, and Melanie are very similar in a lot of ways, I think. You and I have the same kind of self-doubt, lack of trust/faith in ourselves, because we second guess what we do, and while we wish we didn’t, we can’t seem to stop, because that’s how we are. Trampled over by those more noticed. Melanie and I, and you, to whatever degree, have issues trusting people. We don’t trust easily, and once we’re hurt, who knows if that person will ever come back under our good graces.

I don’t know how I was going to connect that, but the point is, be honest with him. But be honest with yourself first. Write an entry like I did in the last one, whether it be public, private, in this diary, or handwritten, and keep it somewhere so you can read it often. Find out who you are, because, like me, I don’t think you quite know yet. Melanie’s lucky in that, I feel. I think she has a good grasp at who she is, and I think that’s why she remains happy in her relationship with Kenny.

I don’t know how much sense I’ve made in here, but I do hope it helps.

I’ll write more tomorrow. I’ve got more self-reflective thoughts, and outside thoughts to rant about.

–Notes–

i’m on now, added you but don’t see you on. [nornna2004]