More Grumblings

I don’t even quite know what I want to say.  About Rob, I mean.  I mean, yeah, Dolly does have a point and I do acknowledge it.  Rob could just be feeling extremely awkward around me and for some reason, thinking that making me out to be someone who needs Mike’s permission to do things is better than just saying the truth.  Yet, Mike said to him as well when he talked to him on the phone to not use him as an excuse.  That if Rob didn’t want to hang out with me, he’d need a better excuse than thinking that Mike wouldn’t like it, because Mike doesn’t have any jurisdiction over what I do and who I see.

I know the easiest way to talk to Rob on my own.  Ask Mike to invite him over and then I pick him up, minus Mike, and we talk.  However, while any sort of friendship that Rob and I might have, could have, or would have had might not survive through this entire thing, I don’t want to make his and Mike’s suffer anymore than it already has.  And I don’t want Rob thinking that I pull Mike’s strings or that Mike’s taking my side in this over Rob.

So yeah.  That option’s out.  Heck, I don’t even want to stretch the truth and say "yeah, you, me, and Mike should hang out, come on, I’ll pick you up," and then have Mike not be there.  Because if I want honesty from him, how can I rightfully expect it if I lie to him about getting him into a situation where I can talk to him, you know?

::SIghs::  This whole thing isn’t fair.  I’m gonna call him tomorrow and ask him if he wants to go caroling with the Youth Group I used to be in.  Maybe if he’s off, he actually will come and then I can talk to him when I’m driving him home.  I don’t know.

Hmm . . .  I wonder if there’s any rice left . . .  Mike and I cleaned out and organized the living room closet today and I made dinner.  I meant to do sort of a mix thing over rice, but it didn’t work out that way.  I diced up a tomato, some egg whites, and Mike cracked some crab legs and we put those in separate bowls.  Then I made the rice and I made hamburger that I was gonna put in it, but when I spiced it, the garlic salt that I used came out way too much . . .  So yeah, there was way too much garlic flavoring in it.

You know, even through this whole thing with Rob, he did do one good thing for me,  I am over Jason.  While I’d like to know whether or not Jason’ll ever contact me, I’m no longer anticipating/hoping for it.  If it happens, it happens.  If not, I’ll be okay, cuz while I did have some great times with him, he gave me more heartache than anything else.

::Sighs::  Lol . . .  Now the only problem is that I have to get over Rob.

I’ll see what happens . . .  Hopefully I’ll be able to talk to him soon.

I don’t want to lose him if he’s someone who’ll be a good friend to me.  But I don’t know.  And that drives me nuts . . .