Melanie (con’t)
I remember writing her an E-mail once. I’d read in her diary about something she’d written on trust, and it got me thinking. She’s always said she doesn’t trust easily, but that entry, and things she’s said since convince me even more that my E-mail was at least on the right track of something. You see, I don’t think she has trouble trusting. Trouble trusting means you don’t want anyone to get close to you. It means that you’re lucky to have ONE best friend. But she has multiples, guys and girls. I think that it’s a matter of wanting to trust, and being mad at herself, as well as the people around her when she fails at finding a person. Or should I say, finding a person, but being proven wrong? And I think that’s why she’ll sometimes go into the “moods” of being sullen and everything. Because even though she may be surrounded by people who love her and who she can trust, she’s taken a lot of hits to her innocence, to her own sense of trust, and to her faith in human nature. These things may be restored, or may be on their way to being restored, except for innocence, because once that’s gone, it’s gone. You aren’t a little kid anymore, and there’s no going back. Sometimes I wish there was.
The only other thing I can think of that I can’t figure out in my head is this: Even now, she says that she tries to help people the most that she can. Yet, multiple times, to me, at least, she’s said she won’t get involved. I don’t understand how the two mesh in her mind. Helping people is getting involved. Even if you just listen to their problems, and offer advice, even if you just listen, you’re still involving yourself, because you’re still making yourself open to hearing them. And I agree with what I read in a book once. You can’t unhear or unlearn things. They’re there, and you have to pick and choose how to react to them. True, maybe her choice is to listen, and do nothing. That is an option on the choice list when you’re listening to someone else. But how can you help people by just listening?
Okay, that last sentence came out wrong. Sometimes all a person does need is an ear. But what if someone asked her for more than that? Would she help, or would she say no, I’m not involved?
I don’t know. The two just don’t mesh in my head.
Well, this is my honest opinion of Melanie. More later, when I choose my next ‘victim.’ Lol.
–Notes–
would you like a rating, or just a short blurb/note?
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for you, i’d say stick with the clouds on the border, then do a pale blue for where the entries go. font-wise, anything from a darker sort of grey-blue to complimentary off-color. if you want specifics, i’ll have to check what colors are available on fod. but just fiddle around until you like it. that’s most important–you’re here the most, you know =) (and now i think your name rocks ^_~)
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I believe listening is a greater force than offering the easy way out. I offer advice using my judgement of where I think it is needed, and that is all. I choose not to get involved in affairs that I’m not directly involved in. I don’t find it a good thing to spead around information that I myself have no guarantees about. I don’t feel it right to say things to others when I am usure of the exact
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truth because that will only cause problems for the people who are directly and indirectly involved in the situation. As for the rest of it, yes, I have close friends, but majority of them at this point are just friends, not best friends. I’ve come to realize that alot of people are unreliable in the times of everyday life and are only there during key points in life. I believe a good best friend
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is there for you all the time, no matter what is happening. I’m realizing I don’t have many of those people. As for me and you, right now..talking online and in the diaries is what is going to work for me. Right now this is a way to regain what we lost a while back. I’m sorry, but that is all I can offer to give right now. But thank you for writing this. It was insightful.