Looking At My Yearbook

I usually do that when I’m depressed. All the things that people wrote cheer me up, to some degree. Plus, this time around, I found something new. Someone, my senior year, for their quote, quoted Gandalf! Cool, huh? Oh, I found another entry where I started quoting the Council of Elrond, and my God, I messed up quoting it! Geez . . .

I wish I could figure out my head. I don’t know. I just don’t feel like I have any drive anymore. I’m in this state of limbo, and I’m not sure how to get out of it. I wish I had money. I wish I could move out. I wish I’d be beyond this feeling of limbo. I wish I could go backwards, to a time before I had it.

“I don’t want to be in a battle. But waiting on the edge of one I can’t escape is even worse.”

I want to see Return of the King again. I think that’s my favorite of the three. It combines Frodo, how he was in the Shire, before the whole thing with the Ring, and how he was when it was taking over, when he was on the slopes of Mount Doom with Sam. Not to mention that it shows all the other characters when they’re at their best. I mean, Pippin contending with the Palantir. Merry and Eowyn battling the Ringwraith. Aragorn accepting his legacy and becoming king. Legolas and Gimli following him into the mountain pass. Sam, in what Dolly called his “shining moment.”

My wrist is starting to hurt. I thought it was because I wasn’t as used to hand-writing things anymore, but actually, I think it’s because I’m not used to typing. Or maybe I’m typing in a bad way. I don’t know.

I just . . . I don’t want to feel like this. I want to be happier. But how do you change how you feel when you don’t know why you’re depressed?

How . . . ?

–Notes–

Hm…read my entry…perhaps it will be a consolation, or at least make you wonder if it ain’t just somethin’ in this jersey air 🙂 What was Andrew’s high school yearbook quote? NMB I am bored 😉 [Jilliebean]