I Don’t Get It . . .

I don’t get it.  Mike came down earlier, and we’ve just kind of been drifting through the days, only occasionally seeing one another for the past few days.  And he wanted advice for a couple of things, but he wasn;t able to really tell me anything except that he’s been having nightmares lately.    And I don;t really know wat to say about them.  I mean, nightmares.  Oh, no.  But I know that’s not all there is to it.  Yet . . .  I don’t know.  I can analyze Andy’s dreams, my own, give advice to a lot of other people, or at least comforting ears, or whatever, but I can’t for Mike.

Maybe I don’t want to anymore.  I mean, it’s like he feels I’m the only one capable of giving him advice.  ::Sighs::  Though considering the situation, that may be true.  Argh.

When I was telling Andy about my dream earlier today, we talked about Jason.  He advised that I tell Jason straight out that I still care about him, because maybe that’s exactly what Jason needs to know right now.

::Sighs::  I wish . . .  I wish a lot of things.  I don’t know.  I don’t even quite know what I’m thinking.  Maybe I’m throwing myself into trying to focus on Mike Keller because I don’t want to think about Jason.  Heh.  Maybe?  Try definitely.

I want to hug him again.  I want to rest in his arms.  But I don’t want to have to hide.

The first two are impossible enough.  But the third one is what really takes the cake.  Even if he and I were to become friends again, will we ever not have to hide?