Happy Birthday, Jason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you bother to count, which I don’t think anyone will, there are twenty exclamation points there.

Jason, I don’t know when you read these, or how often, or anything like that, but I know you read them.  Happy Birthday.  You’re my best friend, and I love you with all my heart.  You mean more to me than I’d be able to say in volumes of books, and I hope I see you again soon.

This entry marks the start of a new theme for me.  The Phantom of the Diary, as she likes being called, has made me realize something.  No one knows what I think of them.  Well, I decided that I’m going to write one entry about each and every person I can think of who I know, have known, etc.  And though I’m not doing it tonight, because I just bought a really good book and want to go back to reading it, the first person I’m going to start with is Dan.  I guarantee you, you’ll be surprised with what I say.

I decided that I’m also going to E-mail each person the entry that focuses on them, assuming I know their E-mail address.  I’m tired of hiding behind a smoke screen curtain, where I can see the people, they can see me, but the images and voices are muffled.  I’m tired of not being honest when things bother me, or when I like something someone did, but never said it, or whatever.  In the book I’m reading, the girl won’t talk after an accident she had, involving, I believe, her father.  I feel sort of like that.  Like the past two years, everything with Dan, Melanie, everyone, and everything else was this huge accident, and I’m still trying to put the pieces back together.  Maybe I can’t speak them, and trust that I’ll get any honest feedback.  But I can write them.  I can write what I feel, and you know what?  I suddenly feel a lot freer.  I’d begun to feel that I couldn’t risk putting anything private on this journal, because I didn’t know who was reading it, and I don’t want just anyone reading my private thoughts.  But you know what?  I know what I consider private, and I know at least one person who reads this.  And I don’t mind if she does.  As long as I’m okay with her reading it, I can deal with anyone else who does.

Well, tomorrow night starts the new segment in this diary.  I hope people can accept my thoughts on them.

And once again, happy birthday, Jason.  I hope I can get you your gift soon.  I know you’ll like it.

–Notes–

Well..you already know everything I have to say about everything and I have always been honest with you. Just keep that in mind. 
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Oh..and enjoy the book. 🙂