General Ranting
Hey, Jill. I see your point, and I understand what you’re saying. Maybe it’s true. Maybe he just plain doesn’t read my diary anymore. I don’t know. And yeah, I am going to an eye doctor if this doesn’t clear up soon. Oh, btw, ‘online communication isn’t a great thing’ and yet you’re paranoid because Andrew didn’t write his ‘love ya’? 🙂 I’m not being sarcastic or mean in saying that, either. Just light commenting. Cuz I found it weird that you’d said awhile ago that you didn’t know one another’s E-mail addresses, and then in your latest entry, you’re concerned about an E-mail of his.
I don’t know. I care about him, but I’m sick of promises being made to me, to only be broken later on. I’ve had it doen to me by too many people, and frankly, I hate myself for putting up with it from Jason, too. A best friend shouldn’t break a promise, and certainly not break so many in succession! I’m tempted to just write a letter, telling him off once and for all, but I’m very tenuously holding onto my faith in him. Hoping, waiting, (for this night! When I would finally play my ultimate role! And you, Esmerelda, come with me, to an eternal darkness . . .) Okay, anyway. Just hoping, and waiting for him to renew my faith in him. Because for all he talks about me having more faith in myself, all the faith in myself in the world won’t renew lost trust/faith in him.
And I wish to GodI could head up there tomorrow, and tell him all this, but because of my eyes I’m not gonna be able to, and I know he won’t come by my house, but then it’s probably better that I don’t stop up there, because if I do, this whole cycle will just continue, and I don’t want that either!!! I just want it done!
You know what’s another disadvantage to me in this whole thing? Knowing my luck, if Jason ever actually does read and intend to coment on these things, he’ll read them, get terrified that I’m gonna tell him off next time I see him, and stay awy from leaving a note because of that!!! Yet, it’s getting the note that would pacify me into at least restoring some of this lost faith in him.
–Notes–
kate, I have no good reason as to why I haven’t gotten in touch with you lately (not counting me coming over) but I do have my sincerest apologies. you are among the people I would consider least deserving of something like that, and I am rightfully ashamed of having done it.:( I will start making better on my word. jay p.s-next entry is coming soon (I think) [Harlequinn’s_Tear]
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Do my eyes deceive me? Is the above note for you actually from Jason?????? WOW..a miracle has occured in Kate’s diary *lol* Be strong Kate. I know he is aggrivating sometimes, but he’s your best friend. And besides..he’s a man. He’s supposed to be aggrivating!!!! *lol* Good Luck with everything! [SolarEclipse]