Definitely Over You

Lol, this is actually a good thing!  Okay, everyone who knows me knows that I’ve had a crush on Ryan for the past eleven years this summer.  Well, this past Christmas time when he was here, I talked to him once again about the idea of us being together, and how I felt my crush on him was coming back and yada, yada, yada.  This happens every couple of years.  My crush flares back up, I tell him, he rejects me, (kindly,) and we stay friends.

Well, this time, I decided you know what?  I seriously need to get over Ryan, because while a part of my heart belongs to him, I’ll never be able to give someone else my entire heart and that’s not fair to the someone else.

So he and I talked and I asked him why he didn’t see me as someone he could get together with because when I understand something, I’m able to process it, and (eventually) move on.

Well, I did make definite progress since we last saw one another because I realized why those "crushes" would keep flaring up.  But last night, (or I should say early this morning,) I got proof positive I’m over him.

I had a dream this morning, (because I didn’t conk out until around four-five,) where Ryan and I were walking down a road.  It was the first time we were hanging out in months, and for some reason, I think it was him, he grabbed my hand and our fingers entwined.  Then, I leaned my head on his shoulder as we were walking, and like five seconds later, I woke up.

Now, a dream like that would normally have my heart racing and me thinking, ‘Maybe . . .’ and imagining possibilities between us and all this.  But . . . I’m not.  I actually am over Ryan!

So now we can just be the best friends that we are without this hanging over us.

P.S – Twenty three more hours till Ringo!!!!!  This is being posted at 9:02 pm.