Confusion Abounds . . .

I remember one time I was writing a letter to Dolly and I talked about not feeling smart enough.  About how, if I was in some of the honors classes I heard people talking about, I’d be eaten alive after the first day.  I never believed I was good enough, academically speaking, to keep up with these people.  Maybe that’s why I picked writer.  It was easy.  The only thing I had to rely on was my creativity and imagination.  And let’s face it.  You can never run out of them.

But now I have this plan, to become a psychologist, to start up my own practice, to change lives!  It’s overwhelming, to say the least.  I have to figure out which classes to take, what order to take them, how many to take at one time . . .  And I have to stick with it and get good grades.  I need to pass every single one o these classes with a B.  I’m not gonna let myself get less.  I took one psych classes in Brookdale, actually one of the ones that’s on the list for recommended classes, and I got a B.

I’m still deciding if I want to take that class over again.  I might, because I really don’t remember that much from it.  Though I may just spare myself the class and money spending and just read the book.  I did get a B in it, and that couldn’t have happened on accident.

::SIghs::  This is just one of those times where I look at the courses I have to take and I look at myself and wonder, ‘Am I smart enough to pull this off?’  I’m cunning and all that good stuff, but book smarts?  I don’t know.

I’m giving myself the summer to plan this and fully make sure I want to do it.  Then I’m gonna register and sign up for classes and all that good stuff.  I’ll have to keep working, just because I need money.  But I might see what kind of classes I have the choice to take the first semester.  If I do a full load, I might be able to cut down to working only one or two days a week so I’ll still get a paycheck, and asking my parents to shoulder the entire bill for the classes/books if I maintain a B average in each class.

I’ll have to see how things go.  I’ve got a lot of planning to do . . .