Boo Radley

Wow. I haven’t thought of that movie in a long time, before reading that entry by someone I randomly found. She talked of being drawn to– Oh, my God. I didn’t even realize it was the 28th today. Wow. Will turned 21. Heh. Okay, anyway. She talked of being drawn to the different “tortured soul” characters. The Phantom of the Opera. Frankenstein’s monster. Boo Radley. And I can see where she’s coming from. I feel that way, too. Hell, it’s sometimes my undoing, but I’m drawn to people like that in real life. Though some are more tortured than others. And some don’t realize, or deny that they are, tortured.

I can’t help thinking about myself and two other people. We were all treated pretty much the same in school, growing up. Yeah, one of them got a few things a lot worse than me and the third person, but it all evens out, more or less. But, in so many ways, the two of them are on opposite sides of the scale from one another. The one tries to give to other people, the other is out for himself. Me, I’m somewhere in the middle. Of the two of them, one’s natural reaction is to go to someone else and receive comfort. The other would just push off anyone’s attempt at comfort towards him. Me, I tend more towards the second. I want to be alone when I’m upset, or depressed, or angry, unless there’s one person in particular that I want to be there. But, whoever that person is at a given time usually isn’t there, so I’d just rather be alone. Of the two of them, one tries to get to know other people, wants to make friends, etc. The other, while he’ll surround himself and be part of a group, he’s never truly part of that group. He doesn’t try to get to know any of the members on a personal level, and sometimes I get the idea that he’d rather just be alone. Me, I don’t know. I don’t really know where I fall on that last one.

But of all the comparisons I can make with them, one thing strikes me as true. I came out the best of the three of us. And if just a few things had happened differently to any one of us, our positions could so easily be changed around.

For one of them, I’m still hoping that that happens. And that I am the cause of things changing around…

–Notes–

i hate being alone, but thats all that i am. mik aka [Praetorian]
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Ignore onehunglo… he’s either making it up to sound self-important online, or he’s being honest, in which case there’s nothing we can do… not unless you can get his name or where he lives… in such cases as these we are powerless… no matter what we say will change him. He’s a nobody, believing that anything ‘just’ is gay and anything good for him is ‘f*cking awesome’ He’s nothing. Forget it [Angel Knight]
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i know what you mean. about wanting to be alone when depressed or upset. and when i do want to be with people at that time, when i am with them, i wish i was alone. and when i am alone, all i can think about is wanting that someone there. somewhere something got to me. i am just never sure of what it was really. i wish i knew, but i fear the day when it will come to me. [Seremela]
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[Little Siamese]