Advice About A Quiet Boyfriend

“so called *perfect*

I’m having problems with my so called *perfect* boyfriend. we cannot have a convosation. like today he called while my friend was over and he wouldnt talk at all, then i gave the phone to my friend and they talked for like half an hour. it pissed me off so bad. and then the other day my friend (same gurl) asked me a question about his sister. I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE HAD A SISTER!!!!!!! my best friend knows more about my boyfriend than i do. i feel awful. im like the worst girlfriend ever! and he doesnt know anything about me!Im crying ryte now i feel so awful. he doesnt even know that my dad is dead. cuz he never asks questions about my family, and i cant just start up a convosation about it. i dont know what to do. i love him more than anything, and i want to be with him forever but how can i have a relationship with someone i barely know? please sum1, help me with this.”

Wow. Okay, this is a complicated one. What do you do when your boyfriend doesn’t volunteer any information, and you don’t know how to start a conversation? Well, I definitely have one thought. You’re obviously good at writing your feelings, so why not write him a letter? Spill out all of your frustrations and worries and let him read it, while you’re sitting there. Finish the letter by saying that you want him to talk to you about all that you’ve written, but if e can’t say it, then he can write it. And have a pad of paper and pen ready to hand to him.

Some people just aren’t that good at voicing their feelings, and maybe he’s one of them. He may have the thoughts in his head, but sometimes being in front of the person you want to tell them to is too much. It’s very intimidating to some people. Literally, the thoughts may be pinging around his head, but there’s a mental block and he can’t say them.

If this is the case, try to be understanding. Especially if this is the case, you’re not the one at fault. No one is, really. It’s just something that is.

As far as him not knowing something as important as your father being dead, people are usually uncomfortable when faced with their own mortality. And talk about death usually reminds them of that. I know it’s something that must be important to you to be able to express feelings about, and for someone who is supposed to be as close to you as a boyfriend, he should definitely know.

About saying that you love him and want to be together forever, ask yourself one thing before convincing yourself of that. How do you know you definitely love him? If you know next to nothing about one another, then he could possibly be someone you don’t even like when you do get to know him. You obviously do care about him, and I think you owe it to yourself and him to work on this relationship, and your communication.

I would ask him a couple of very important questions. Plus, I have one myself. Mine is: how did you and he get together if your communication with one another is this bad? And the questions, among others, you should ask him are: why did he call you the one day if he had nothing to say to you? and why is he willing to talk to a friend of yours for so long?

Don’t pressure him into answers, because that will only make him clam up further. Be patient with him. If you and he mutually care about one another and both want the relationship to work, you’ll both learn how to open up. It just takes time.

Good luck, and I hope this has helped. Leave me a note, okay? Give me tabs on what happens, and if you need anymore advice.

–Notes–

hey, thanx for the advice. it worked. sort of. he said its easier for him to talk to my friend because his feelings for me are so strong that he gets nervious. in fact, last night we had a nice long convosation about our hobbies and stuff. he even told me a secret. i found out a lot more about his family too. he still doesnt know about my dad tho. come check out my diary for more updates. thanx <3 [Teaze4Life]