5/21/04

You know I honestly think Dolly is the only person to tell me I have a short memory. Yes, I remember saying that I was happy just being friends with Jason. But you know what? That was in regards to him deciding that he only saw me as a best friend, after the times when he was questioning how he felt. It was a comfort thing I was telling myself to not feel so bad about being rejected. And frankly, I don’t give a rat’s ass what “best friends w/benefits” means to the general public. I have never gone by standard definitions and never will. To me, best friends with benefits has always meant, and will always mean, best friends who kiss with the possibility of a relationship happening. And unless he was lying about this, Jason has said that he’s more naive than me. So, therefore, how would he have heard any kind of more provacative meaning? Also, Dolly, your comparison of when I kissed Jason on the cheek that summer you were together with him just plain doesn’t work. Yes, I kissed him on the cheek, but it was to prove that I could. I had no ulterior motive, I had no feelings for him other than friendship at that point, and I recall that when I went to do it initially, he pulled away from me. I had to explain why I wanted to do that before he’d let me. No, I never knew that it hurt you. I can sort of see why it did, but I also say it’s a bit silly that it did, because I had no malicious intent involved, nor did I feel anything when I kissed him. Not to mention that I did that in the hopes that the next time I saw Ryan, I’d just be able to lean over and kiss him, because I was able to do it with someone else.

–Notes–

Hey Kate 🙂 thanks for the notes you’ve been leaving. I did delete the last one only because I didn’t want Andrew to find it; we resolved everything as you’ll read in my latest entry and I figured it’d be better to eliminate the chance of his finding any comments. The other notes you left are still there but I privatized certain entries. Anyway thanks again 🙂 [Jewel*Rose]
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I fixed it! I now allow private notes!! 🙂 Actually you and Mike and Melanie were not on the list only because I was thinking of people I graduated with, for the most part. You’re on my mental list right now, but I can add you to the written one if it would make you feel warm & squishy 😉 [Jewel*Rose]
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Do you ever feel like the world [a witches life]
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What would I do with out you, Kate? I really don’t know. I am just so amazed at the fact that on the one day I actually get up the courage to ask her out, she’s booked for the weekend. I just don’t belive my luck. Oh Well. Thanks for the advice. later -OrcDragon65 [OrcDragon65]
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Oh no you don’t! YOu kissed him on the lips! Sure, just a peck, but… Still! It was the cheek first and then the lips and…gosh darn! Ow! I mean…that was…ow. Scarey, besides, cuz I saw…I saw you snatching him right away cuz…you’re verything I’m not and…ow. [HyacatDuncan]
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And Kate…did you ever bother to ask Jason what these things meant to HIM? How he interpretted them? What he really wanted to happen? [HyacatDuncan]