4/20/04

Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don’t I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?

I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break
I crave, I love, I’ve waited long enough
I try as hard as I can

I laugh, I feel, I make believe it’s real
I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees
I hope, I stand, I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can

I know the chorus part, the first stanza there, is sung at other points in the song, but I don’t recall where. I haven’t heard the song in a long time. I just recognized the first part, and realized it was a song I like. I don’t know what to do. Why does everything have to happen at once?

Melanie told me tonight that she has to cancel Thursday, and it wasn’t that big of a deal to me, considering that I had to say the same, since I was scheduled to work that morning. It wasn’t until I picked up on the fact that something was really wrong that I asked what was happening Thursday morning for her, and she told me a funeral mass. At first, I thought things for her grandmother had taken a turn for the worst, and was expecting her to say it was her. But, it turns out it was her friend Kathleen’s father, finally losing the battle to cancer. I know it isn’t much comfort, and I understand why it isn’t, but at least he isn’t suffering anymore. That’s something, because I know it had to pain you, your family, and especially his family to see him wasting away.

I hate things that can and do eat away at a person’s body, mind, soul, etc. I hate that.

::Sighs:: I don’t really feel I can adequately write now. Maybe I’ll come up with something later.

–Notes–

As usual, thank you for listening to me and being there for me. I really appreciate it. As for the Jason thing, good luck and if you need me to do anything let me know. Be strong and don’t let his parents push you around. [SolarEclipse]
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You have… a giant smiley on your car… Okay, you’re name makes sense now! Yeah, I wrote the poem myself. It toom me a couple minutes. I usually write longer ones, but it was kind of late. 😛 Yay for my first note on my FOD! And my second and third, I guess, but still, Yay! [Swimming In Circles]
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Oooo… I’d just left a note on the most rescent one to respond. I hadn’t read it thoroughly enough. I’m so sorry about your friend. I’m hoping you’re okay through this. I left a note on hers as well. I don’t know how close together you live, but maybe you should try hanging out. You lost a friend, too, so maybe you can share sort of a like mind on this, you know? [Swimming In Circles]