A New Start

I feel like I want to start writing again.  I’ve been with this diary community for atleast 8 years now however, I haven’t always maintained my own diary.  I’ve continued to stay in touch with some of my favorites by sometimes writing notes but I rarely leave them.  I preffered to just stay hidden in the backround.  Perhaps I didn’t feel like what I had to say was worth writing out. 

My name is Kristen, I’m 24 years old and I have a full time job working in the hospitality field.  I graduated high school in 2004 and went directly to the community college.  There, I dabbled in the possibilities of being a dental hygientist.  After a dissapointing semester, I decided to change my major to something that I loved-Travel and Tourism/ Hotel Motel Management.  I was so close to finishing my dual degree but decided to take a few semesters off so I could focus on working.  I had a dream, I wanted to travel to Europe so I signed up with a travel network and did a 25 day tour of Europe.  That was one of the most amazing months of my life.  I went sky diving in the Swiss Alps, met "The Fonze" at the oldest pub in Dublin and discovered myself along the way. It was nothing short of magical.  Travel is still truly my passion but I’ve had to put those dreams on hold.  I didn’t finish my college degree my choice, it just wasn’t worth it.  They made the hotel management degree a "certificate" and I just didn’t feel like going back.  I make more money now than I would starting in the hotel industry.  Also, I have benefits and a flexible schedule and I’m good at what I do.

Shortly before I left for Europe in  May of 2009, I met Shawn over a bagel that I made for him where I work.  We started dating and quickly I moved in with him.  I had dated before but nothing ever that was worth getting serious over.  Today, we’ve been together alittle shy of 2 years. 

I used to be such a carefree spirit who lived at home but was hardly ever there. I spent most of my free time working so that I could pay for my traveling expenses and I had a huge group of friends that I surrounded myself with but that all changed.  

Truthfully, that is something I still struggle with.  Along with having a serious boyfriend that you live with comes the territory of "becoming an adult and growing up."  Instead of traveling or being a social butterfly, I’m helping pay for the tv bill and the interent bill and the grocery bill.  I am not complaining though, Shawn is amazing!  He truly is my person that I plan to spend the rest of my life with.  He pays for the costly morgage, the heating bill, the sewage, and electricity and everything else.    We spend most of our nights at home because financially, we are driven to not be in debt and we choose to pay down the house instead of going out and blowing all of our money on everything else.  We do try to go out atleast once a week.  Ontop of that, we both go to bed reasonably early because I work most days starting at 6am.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it’s hard playing house when everyone else that I was close friends with aren’t in the same situation.   While my girlfriends have had long term relationships, they haven’t moved in with each other, hell, half the time they don’t even see their boyfriends every day.  I don’t feel like we have anything in common anymore.  Even Shawn’s friends have fell off the grid.  We are constantly questioning what happened to all of our friends and it hurts knowing that we aren’t the same people that we used to be.  To us, our relationship is important and we’ve become our own bestfriends but that doesn’t mean that we don’t miss "the good old days."

Along with all of that, I am at the stage of my life where I am ready to get married and start a family.  I just don’t understand how people can pay for children though lol  I know from reading many of my faves which are mostly mothers or expecting mothers, it’s hard to juggle the cost of everything else and the needs of babies.  Shawn has a decent paying job but he hates the company.  He might actually give up the job he’s been working at for the last 10 years and switch to a different company almost an hour away.   His job is rather stressful and he’s at the point where he needs a change. I work in a rather stressful job myself but I don’t make nearly the same that he does but there are times where we still struggle.  Luckily, we are on the same page financially.  If we don’t have the money, we don’t spend it.  We both share very similar values as well.

I guess this is about as good as a start as any.  I have a lot of cleaning to do since the holidays are over and the house is a disaster. lol   Time to put the Christmas tree down and put away all the decorations.

–Kristen