squeeze.

Last night keith came home from hockey and I was already fast asleep.  I usually don’t wake up when he creeps into the apartment and sneaks into bed in the dark (bless him, he knows I value my sleep), but last night I woke up halfway.  Probably because I was sleeping diagonally with my arms splayed out, taking all the room.  I think he had to move me? 

Anyway, I have a vague recollection, because I was somewhere between asleep and awake (that place where you still remember dreaming) and a moment happened I will always remember.  Sometimes these moments happen right in the middle of an ordinary day or night and I know they’ll be burned into my memory until my dying day.  I have a few of them stored up that I can picture, clear as day.  Most have to do with boys.  Hm.

So I rolled over to make room for this man and he crawled in.  I was facing him, and I opened my eyes and in the dim light from the window I could see his face.  His eyes were closed and his wicked beard was glittering orange from the streetlights.  I just watched for a while, letting thankfulness wash over me, trying to fight the urge to hug him until he burst.  And then he smiled.

He smiled and I died.  HOW did he know I was looking at him?  Then he leaned over and kissed my mouth with minty cold freshness and I was so overcome.  God this is gushy.  It’s hard to explain a feeling.  But sometimes I think I’m going to explode with happiness.  That was one of those times. 

Then he put his arm around me and we fell asleep. 

It’s sweet, this life I’m living in.  Why I have it, I’m not sure. 

But I feel like it’s right.