Kit (3)
It was supposed to be an enjoyable moment, an event worthy of celebration. Despite the overall drop of results in HK, my school managed to maintain a 100% passing rate in UE. But I have anything but a celebratory mood.
Kit passed all of his subjects and even got two C’s. It was simply an amazing outcome, given the grave adversity he had to face. But the price he’s paying proves to be too much.
He’s in the hospital now, barely capable of moving his body. His condition is officially known as neurofibrosarcoma, a type of cancer in the nerve tissue. Originating from his nerves, the malignant cells spread first to his lymphatic system, then to his lungs, and now to his bones. Treatment has stopped completely because there is none. He now lies in the bed, constantly groaning in pain and trying to shift his lower body due to incessant pain. The only medication he receives is pain relievers. As his class teacher, I hate to say this and make it sound like a curse, but the reality is this: his days are numbered. I can only hope for a miracle from God.
I thought he was a strong-willed boy who dared to fight cancer head-on, but his mom told me otherwise. It turns out his determination was strong but stubborn, his optimism was admirable but misinformed, his attitude was confident but negligent. He kept believing that he’d be OK. He kept convincing himself that he’d win this battle. He insisted to do the same things other healthy people do. Sadly, he underestimated his condition and overestimated his ability. He went swimming, cycling, even camping – but he really shouldn’t have done any of these things, as these only exacerbated his already worsening condition. Now he’s being punished for this negligence.
I stood by his side, watching him writhing in agony, yelling stuff like "The pain is too much", "Let me die now", "Why take me to the hospital", "You don’t know what it feels like". His mom was looking at the floor, no more tears left in her eyes to fall down. I didn’t say things like "Add oil", "You’ll be fine", "God bless you" – these sound outrageously stupid. I felt utterly useless. Maybe hold his hand? No, he yelled in pain whenever his mom touched him. It was such an intolerable sight.
I think he needs counselling more than treatment. He’s still refusing to believe what’s happening to him. He appears brave, but it is mere deception. He’s pretending it isn’t that serious. He’s even nagging his mom to bring him a laptop so he can adjust his JUPAS choices in order to secure a place in university. This is a classical case of denial. Will he ever reach the stage of acceptance? Does he have the time?
I like to talk about death. But I do not want to observe it. Please, God, show Kit your mercy. Please. Please.
So sorry to hear about it.. We are so helpless in front of death
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omg that sends shivers down my spine. On TV you only see how the terminally ill face reality with utmost courage, so it makes me wonder whether everyone has the potential to summon such strength. Such denial must be terrifying to witness first hand. My heart goes out to his mother. I hope Kit will be able to get to the end of this torturous path with a smile on his face.
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Feeling bad
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who says he shouldn’t do those activities? tell him he should be glad that he’s done so…. though sad enough to say that.
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God Bless to him~
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hope there’ll be a miracle!
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really bad news
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life is just like that…….we can’t control the length but the depth of it. pray for him whole-heartedly
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oh
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I think u’re right.. he needs counselling, besides treatment. I can imagine how hard it would be for a teenage kid to be told that ‘his days are numbered’, that he won’t live the day of going to university, to fall in love, to get marriage, to enjoy life… it’s just so unfair. I really don’t know what to say, i feel very sad. I’m sorry maybe i forgot, does he have a religion? i think religion can
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be a good source of comfort in times of adversities. BTW, is there anything that he really really wants to do? or people that he really really wants to see and say things to? Perhaps people can help him achieve them (i’m sure he has a loving family and many friends and teachers who care about him already). Please send him my best wishes and regards.
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bad new~
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i’m really so sad and shocked when i read this… instead of saying that he’s stubborn or denying some “fact”…i’d say he’s still trying his very best and keeping faith…it’s a way for him to fight until last second… best wishes to kit…he’d be grateful as u care for him so much : ) sheep
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Oh…I am so sorry. It is sad to see such nice young man slip away. *sigh* “Oh, nicky” above has a point. If that’s the way he choose to live his life, to face his illness, so be it. Although, it might seems stubbon to us, it is his life not ours. And however short it is, he is trying to live it to the fullness. It is admirable.
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We should be proud of him. May God has mercy and lessen his pain…
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BTW, it is easier to talk about our own death to face the death of the people you care about. I can see how hard it is for you to see Kit counting his days.
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BTW, it is easier to talk about our own death than to face the death of the people you care about. I can see how hard it is for you to see Kit counting his days.
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oh dear… all we can do is pray for him… and leave all in His hands…
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I’m really sorry to hear about this …
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speechless…sorry to hear that.
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So sad to hear about the news. Pray for him.
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whenever i read your story about him, i wanna cry. bless him, rest with peace, no more pain…..
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re: Èøȳ£¦n¡A³£¤w¸g°µ¥ª«£¡C
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Tears are almost rolling down… He too young… too young to give himself up. I saw his desire to survive. Heart broken. For those who thought of and think of suicide, they have to read the story of Kit. God bless him.
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What an ambitious kid! Too bad time is running out on him. *Sad* RYN: Oct 22.
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I am sad to hear this. I can understand what you feel. Once, I was a close relative of patient cancer. We, people, are so tiny actually. The only thing we can do is to be generous, offer our time, patience and love. God bless him.
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re: to rectify: “patient of cancer”.
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Awww That’s so sad. My first husband was the same way. I don’t Kit will ever 100% be out of denial. It’s sad…. I wish him and his family and you all great tremendous peace. All I feel is quiet with the knowledge on how this can be. I hope your soul can find rest and understanding in your quest for knowledge on this manner. ((HUGS))
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I am glad that he filled the last part of his life with the things he wanted to do. It’s living *smiles*
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re: I thought only biology/ anatomy can deprive people of culinary delights – didn’t know chemistry could too! I suppose yeah it does look like the exothermic carbon cake in the photo but in actual fact it looks better =P
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May god bless him…. >.< I chose to stay at my present school… am I stupid? 🙂
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I think what we can do is to pray for him . Wait for the God’s miracle to come to him!
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RYN… Thank you!… I’m glad Kit looks peaceful most of the time. He needs to know someone is there to listen to him and hold him and calm any fears he may have. My personal opinion… all our spirit will meet agian one day. He will be happy where his spirit goes. He will be around us all. I’m sure of that (HUGS) Yes it’s nice to live closer to the US border. I’m in Ontario and I think maybe the
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the upper mid states may have better shopping deals than in Washington state. I love Vancouver. I have been there for a visit and would love to go back one day. How come you left… if you don’t mind my asking? Have a great day!
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It’s nice that you went back to HK after Uni. It’s where your roots are :-). I couldn’t imagine living some place else other than Canada although living by the ocean would be nice lol..
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§Ú³£Ä±±o¦pªG§Ú«Yµ¥ºòmy last moment to come, §Ú¤Sø©È¥h°µd³ÌµL²á³ÌstupidªGd¨Æ, ´Nºâ§ÚµL±oŪ¤j¾Ç, çܤU³£¦n§r, ¤Ï¥¿³£µL¨ä¥L¨Æ¦nçÜ¡C
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re: exactly! ¬OµL¿©M9¿¤§¤ñ¡I§A§¹¥þ©ú¥Õ¨º±ø¦¡ªº·N¸q©Ò¦b¡I
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re: haha.. only 1 day!!!! I dun know r u still want someone to talk about this issue.. so, how’s him now? Is he still applying the uin (graphic design)?
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