confessions of an engaged woman

(Please note: I am going to RANT… tune out now)

Some days I don’t want to be..

Some days I wish this home was just for me and my kids ..

I don’t want to share ..

I don’t want to do all that extra work

some days I am over it

I had a chat to my niece this past Friday night .. I was nearly in tears , I was tired.

It was  a hard week..

Money is tight ..

TOH has a temp job doing Demolition..

My typical day starts at 6.00 am ..

Shower, dress and be at work by 6.30 ( not hard as I work from home)

6.15–6.35amClear bench, tidy lounge, fold washing , boil jug, get ready for kids to arrive ..

6.30—8am Baby needs feeding , changing , playing with. Sort him and his Brother and put on washing , change loads, hang washing, make sure my / TOH kids are fed and watered , rooms tidied before school. S has sports training at 7am.  2 days a week

8am school kids arrive , my kids leave.

8.—8.25am .. 1–2 other care kids arrive , take school kids to school , this involves buckling 3-4 preschoolers in to the car seats, making sure schoolkids have shoes and bags.  coming home and removing buckled kids.

8.35–9.30, Breakfast hour.. we eat ,clean up, put baby to bed , change loads of washing again , hang. Put away folded laundry. Pack a bag , get ready for the day , depending on what happens this day , we leave the house at 9.45.. or we stay and play while baby sleeps.

Mon- Coffee group .. 10 –12

Tues– Music group– 9.30– 11.30  Kindy

Wed– play group   10–12 or home day  Kindy

Thurs– story time.. 10–12  Kindy

Fri– Wendys , lake , home day

Tuesday ,Wednesday, Thursday I have afternoon kindy , 2 kids , 2 different kindys. 20km round trip approx First drop off 1pm Second 1.20pm. Then Home feed baby , change and play , and then the collections at 3 and 3.30pm , Also add to that a school pick up in between,  some days , and it can be added last minute.

So about 12.–12.30 we get home , have lunch , feed and change baby and some days he will go to bed unless he has slept in the car or at the activity.

1-3 pm we play or make something , some days we bake , some days we go for a walk to the park or the paddock up the road to see the sheep and cows etc. looking at nature and seasons effects on the world etc.

3-  5.30pm , My kids come home from school .. I will have errands to run , bills to pay a shop to visit . I will get something sorted to dinner , the kids have free time, I may read to them, or do puzzles. We pack up the lunch boxes , all the shoes sock and discarded clothing is found and put back in the cubby hole with their bag or on the rightful owner. . Parents arrive anywhere  from 4.30 to 6pm.. depending on the day the traffic or their shopping .. gennerally they are all gone by 5.30.

I must pick and sort the toys and equipment we have had out. Tidy it all away.

Vaccum , sweep,  Mop and do the bathrooms. ( I try for every day, Now that the baby is crawling it has to be the floors daily again)

S has sports game , Basket ball , Volley Ball, something ball  at least twice a week.

TOH and his kids may be home anywhere from 4.30 -7pm.  The week they are here , they come in , change , dump their gear and are outside playing on bikes , with balls and not in till dinner time.

TOH comes in dumps his stuff , has a 15 min break in his room , and then sits on the couch and flicks channels. He stays there till bedtime pretty much ..

He may , peel potatoes, fold washing .. do dishes after dinner. Those are the 3 things he does regularly.

Monday I have Zumba,

Tuesday is Outrageous fortune on TV

Wednesday Zumba again

Thursday I work late every 3rd week , Comedy every 4th ,

Friday I flop in the bath or the couch with a wine..

My work requires me to fill out a book for each child in care with a learning story and a photo or 2.. we are told we HAVE to do at least one story a month ,  we do so many exciting things I find I have so many photos. I could do one a week. I have 6 books to do.

The gardens are weedy, the lawns mowed by a contractor, the dogs bones and calling cards NOT my area ( I spazz out all the time)

The fence is falling down , the gate is hard to open and close, the trees need pruning,

I can do the inside OR the outside , I can not do both and work full time.

It was once stated in a heated discussion that he should not have to clean up after my care kids. I agreed , but said I should not have to clean up after his dogs , he said he is not a mind reader and if I want something done I should ask.

I find it hard to draw the line between every day mess ,and care kid mess.  I wash cook and clean for them all and still have to sweep vaccum and mop, Every day.

The dogs are on the lounge suite( one 2 seater couch ONLY) and it must be covered with an old sheet.. it still smells , still gets covered in dog hair , I clean that too .

Under the cabinet and the book case in the hall the tiled floor is a lovely place for a hot dog to sleep , so there is always hair there. I sweep that daily.

I do not read your mind either .. but I know you want your clothes washed , your dishes done , your meals cooked and I just do it ..  so when there is a mess to be dealt with , eg floors , clothes , toys, weeds , leaves,  spiders webs, rubbish day bins, recycling.. what ever .. do I have to say , pick up , put away , sweep that , dry that , empty this , recycle that??

Rubbish day is and always has been Friday .. so thursday night I asked for help with the rubbish , lets get it out tonight , one less job in the morning.. the bins were all gathered from around the house , plastic in the recycling . paper in the paper chain box, rubbish in the black sack.. the black sack was tied up and I put all the bins back in the rooms ..

Friday TOH got up , left for work and all the rubbish was left at the front door.. he walked passed it ..

I left it there .. during the week he asked why the recycle bin was so full .. I said well it was not put out on Friday .. I saw it there and thought .. Nope i asked for that to be done and it has not been so I am leaving it there .. He said oh opps

This Friday .. he went to work and did nothing .. did he learn ? No do I have to ask every week ? Obviously yes .. do I want to Nag a 44 year old man ? No Fkn way .. I have enough of that with 15 and 17 yr old sons. I do it myself. 

But from this week on .. I do not mention rubbish .. i do not do rubbish .. I am on rubbish strike.  Let the shit build up .. see what happens then.

Same for the dog poo.. I want that done every day .. It will be summer soon and I want the kids to be able to play outside , I will not ask again .. I will just tie the dogs up by the kennel so they can only poo in one place and they will cry all day and he wont like that.

I tol

d my niece I love him .. but not enough to marry him .. I was wrong to say yes ..

He is like my ex .. he is garden shy, work shy and loves to be cared for and looked after ..

What I really want is someone that will help me do all the above and still let there be time for me to care for them , someone that will mow the lawns .. put out the rubbish.. and fix the fence and gate. Walk the dogs and come to the gym with me. Then let me massage their feet or make them a special dessert to be shared in bed or in front of the tv once the kids are in bed ..

Last Friday I was out at Allys for a few drinks , TOH came home with the kids .. I came home at 10.45pm .. I expected all the kids to be in bed , maybe some quiet time for TOH and I .. as per normal his kids were still up , Mine in bed. (because they are aware of the consiquences of being tired at the end of the week) I commented on his boys still being up.. don’t they have soccer tomorrow? Yes and I told them they could stay up till 11pm.. One was on the computer , one half asleep on the couch and the other in the bathroom getting ready for bed, had been on the computer with his brother.

Saturday TOH boys had a huge soccer tournament on. A 5 aside competition. ALL day , approx 8 games of soccer, .. Saturday night one son snapped at the other , they bickered and they bitched , they walked about with faces like bent meat axes, thunderous foreheads and black eyes.   TOH asked that we try and be cooperative towards the boys as they were tired and had had a big day .. I turned around and said.. Don’t you think this is related directly to the fact that they were up till after 11pm last night. .. i am not being nice to a boy that should have been in bed at 9pm on the eve of a big day .. if he wants to stay up like the  big boys then he can act like a big boy and drink concrete.   TOH said , hmm I guess you are right.

He is the fun parent.. I am the wicked evil step mother. ..

Have you brushed your teeth , hang your towle , put your clothes away , make your bed , pick up , put away , is this your mess , is this your mess , your cup , your shoes , your plate ..

Grrrrrrr i am over it.

My niece said to me ..

If it was different and his kids came and did and acted like your children , knowing all the rules and TOH had a job and paid his way and helped in the yard and the house … how would you feel .. ?

I would be happy ..

 

TTFN..xox