What an idiot I am

Somebody Out There – Kate Alexa

I’m tired of being alone,
missing someone i dont even know
crazy but all ive been through
was just another way of getting back to you

its only a matter of time
seperate lives will be two worlds that collide
dont go asking me why
i believe what im feeling inside

Chorus.
Somebody out there’s got my name on their heart
somebody out there is watching the same star
i’m counting the hours now and it wont be long
till i find that somebody out there
whos the one
whos the one

I hear the words you dont say
like a favourite song that i never play
are you all that you seem
or are you just a picture taken from a dream

I know that im not making sense
but i like what i see and i wanna see more
love is my only defence
i believe that is what i am here for

Chorus.

A thousand miles
a million smiles
how many more to go
im shouting out
can’t live without

I always love hearing when an Aussie music artist is making somewhat of an impact, and this chick is – they even play her first song on the radio at work.

So I went to this party on Friday night.  People who know me, know that I’m not the biggest fan of parties.  I just think they are crap.  And I didn’t finish work until 9:30pm, and had to start at work at 8am the next day, but I drove to Manly on the southside anyways because the chick who invited me, I hadn’t seen in absolutely aaaaages.  So I got there, using my handy refidex cos I had no idea where the hell I was going, but I found it!

I could hear voice as I walked up the drive, and after two unanswered knocks at the door, I let myself in, as it was unlocked (too bad if I was a burglar)!  I walked into a stairwell with a door in front of me, and the stairs headed up.  I took the stairs and saw a strange person at the kitchen table, with his head down, obviously he had too much to drink.  I said hey, and got a wave as he looked up to survey his surroundings, then lowered his head to the table again.  Gee that’s nice, a complete stranger’s welcome in the house haha.  So I walked along the hallway and ran into a guy I know, and his ex girlfriend.  They were in the ‘computer’ room I guess you’d call it, and showed me some cyanide and happiness comics – they crack me up those haha.  So had a laugh and they told me my friend who invited me was downstairs.  I was like, ‘ok, how do I get downstairs, and the girl grabbed me by the hand and let me outside.  I walked down the stairs as she was rounding the corner.  As awesome as it was to see her, I knew right then I was way out of place.  Everyone there was either drunk, or stoned, and here I was, having just driven from work, completely sober.  Great.  I didn’t get down about it though, as I was telling myself in the car that the party was going to suck ass, so I was just getting what I expected.  She gave me a massive hug, and it’s been about two years since I’d seen this friend of mine.  I was astonished how much weight she had lost!  Whoa!!  She still had the big breasts though, which I had to crush to hug her.  She loved showing them off though, and they were almost falling out of her low-hanging top.

I was introduced to a few people I didn’t know, as I knew four of the people who were there.  There were probably about 15 or so people.  Two of the people were a lesbian couple, named Angel and Cass.  Angel really lived up to her name.  She was a huge woman, and I actually thought she was wearing this awesome necklace, until I looked closer and realised she actually had metal studs IN her neck, all the way around.  ouch!  She was a tough one, and you could tell.  They looked to be an awesome couple though, and I got to hear their story about how they met and everything.  Angel lived in New Zealand and Cass was from Perth – Angel flew over to meet Cass, told her parents she was gonig on a 6-week vacation, then rang them from Australia and told them she wasn’t coming back.  They were about to celebrate their two year anniversary, now both living in Brisbane.  I also saw my friend Holly again, who I found out was now dating one of the guys who was hurling over in the garden somewhere.  She offered me a UDL, so I had that, figured one drink would be okay, but when she offered me another one later on in the night, I refused it.

My friend was on the phone to someone who was apparently coming over, as she was giving him directions.  Anyway this guy rocked up.  All I can say is, absolute screaming queen.  Butt ugly as well.  Overly cocky, which made him seem rude to me, and he was very forward.  I think it took him a while to figure out I was also gay, but claimed his gaydar was right there – riiight – if it was he woulda mentioned it sooner.  Of course, my worse expectations happened, and he told me straight out he thought I was cute.  I was like ‘umm…okay..thanks’.  Christ I hate being hit on my butt-ugly rude guys.  Call me shallow, and yes so what, but he was rude as.  I already went out with one guy out of pity, and I sure as fuck won’t be doing it again.  The night got later and later, and I realised I had to go, so I tore myself away from the group of strangers and walked over to where my two friends were having a D&M, informing them I had to go.  I gave them a huig and apologised for interrupting their conversation, as I had an idea what it was about.  Of course, ulgy-guy wandered over and, god I hate to type this, but, he asked for my number.  Now, you see, I’m a nice guy, so I can;’t exactly just say, ‘no sorry, I think you’re rude, obnoxious and look like a wart on a toad’s ass’, so I said ‘sure’, even though I so didn’t want to.  As I was telling him my number, I was sooooooooooooooo tempted to mix the numbers up, but I didn’t.  I later realised that even if I had, he woulda tried, and then asked one of my friends for the number.  It’s been a day and a half and I haven’t heard from him yet (thank GOD), but I am so going to ignore it.  There’s nothing worse than talking to someone you really don’t like, and don’t even think about telling me you disagree.  

I got home at about 2:30am, and started work at 8am.  Work wasn’t too bad at all, and I actually had a staff member come in at 1pm instead of 3pm, so I got a lunch break when I wa

s meant to.  I said, ‘yay! I have a staff member at 1 instead of 3, and he snaps back, ‘yeh well it’s a bit hard to get from a 1:30 exam to be here at 1!’.  Fair enough, I didn’t know that.  I thought something must have been up last week.  

I fell asleep pretty mushc when I got home and just woke up, so I caught up on some sleep.  A friend wanted me to go to the coast but when I woke up I was just too tired.  I might head down later though, I dunno, I kinda want a quiet weekend too.  Fuck it’s hot!  I’ve got my fan on halfway.  i thin kit’s gunna be a really hot summer again.  I saw that it’s going to be 40 degrees in Alice Springs today – yeeks – And that’s a Spring temperature!

I’m gunna have a shower and see if I can wake up a bit more – my housemate wants me to mow grass or something.  Jeez!  I wish I could have the house to myself for a bit, but he’s ALWAYS here.  Might be an excuse to head out.  Usually is.