Welcome back to the working life

He Doesn’t Love You – Sarah McLeod

rattle the cage
flicker the light
this kind of love keeps you up all night
you know somethin’ aint right

you call on a friend
could you be so sure
that old line’s been done before
you know somethin’ aint right

can you feel it come coming
can you feel it come here it comes
its taken you forever though you’re living so fast
and you’re in for the running in a race and comin last

got buried alive
in somebody’s world
there’s too many people
and too many girls
got nothing to hide
you know what to do
coz he loves himself
but he doesn’t love you

you wanna be saved
well dont be naive
its your choice if you wanna leave you know
so dont you delay

you’ve taken the brunt
of both of your lives
its not how your supposed to compromise
so dont you delay

can you feel it come coming
can you feel it come here it comes
a little old stain will show you what he’s done
you’ll never stay afloat and if you cave in while you’re young

got buried alive
in somebody’s world
there’s too many people
too many girls
got nothing to hide
you know what to do
coz he loves himself
but he doesn’t love you

you couldn’t take it if you thought you were the only one
another second here this damage can’t be undone
you saw me coming but you didn’t wanna see it come
you saw me coming but you didn’t wanna see it come
you saw me coming but you didn’t wanna see it come
you saw me coming but you didn’t wanna see it come

got buried alive
in somebody’s world
there’s too many people
too many girls
got nothing to hide
you know what to do
coz he loves himself

got buried alive
in somebody’s world
there’s too many people
too many girls
got nothing to hide
you know what to do
coz he loves himself

got buried alive
in somebody’s world
there’s too many people
too many girls
got nothing to hide
you know what to do
coz he loves himself
but he doesn’t love you

This has been my favourite song for weeks now!  I just love it LOVE IT!  Especially the Hooks and Sling remix, which they play in the clubs all the time.

Today was really boring.  It’s my last day of holidays, but it’s not really holidays cos it woulda been my weekend anyway.  Tomorrow I go back to work.  Thank God cos I need some money, but I’m actually pretty nervous about it cos of all these rumours I’ve been hearing since I’ve been on holidays about where they want to put me when I go back!  My lesbian workmate’s been informing me, and she’s a pretty reliable source.  So yeah, I’m gunna be a little nervous.  At least it’s a half-day going back, so it won’t be too full-on, hopefully anyway.  Depends on the news I’m gunna hear.  I’m still sticking to my plan of staying if I’m offered my current job or deli, and leaving if they try to put me on registers – sorry, couldn’t handle it.  I mean I have to do that anyway to help out when it gets real busy, and doing it temporarily is okay, but to stand in the one spot for hours at a time?  I don’t think so.  I haven’t worked for this company for this long to go back to doing that shit!

So yeah.  I’ve been rather bored.  Was meant to go to the movies today with a friend, but didn’t hear from him, but I’m not too worried, saved myself $15 or so anyway.  Okay for him cos he has a voucher.  Maybe he found someone else, oh well.  Only thing I really did today besides complain about the heat, was show my housemate how to use the air-conitioner in the loungeroom (it doesn’t reach my room dammit) and took Lady (the rottweiler) for a very long walk.  My God that dog is so unfit.  Adorable, but unfit.  He feeds her way too well.  She gets better meals than humans do.  For God’s sake, she has her OWN GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL!!!  What other dogs get that luxery?  So yeah, she was panting like hell by the time we got back.  I took her all the way up to Gympie Road and back, which is probably about 2 or 3 kilometers.  didn’t seem that far to me, but it was an effort for her!

My working out’s going pretty well.  I’m sticking to it.  Not so much working out, but mainly concentrating on what I eat, and lifting my weight I have, until I can find a decent gym offer in the next few months.  Ideally I’d like to live somewhere where I can get my own home gym, but knowing me I may just let it sit there lol.  So maybe I should fork out some dough for a membership – ahh i dunno, I’ll do it eitherway.  Right know I’m just using what I have, with the little money I have.

Maybe I can sneak in some overtime this week without getting caught lol.  I mean I usually try to cos my pay per week is rather week, according to the average Australian wage anyway, but I think that’s the same if you work in either retail, hospitality or fast-food.  I added some more stuff to my resume today, which is online and I can print, but then I was reading somewhere today that most people who use that resume would have the same layout and shit, so now I’m thinking I wanna make my own individual one.  Something that I’ve actually gone to the effort to fill out and format.  And that’s the other question – do employer’s prefer  typed resume’s, or the old-style hand-written ones?  I know some do and some don’t, so I guess you’ve just got to take a guess!  I haven’t applied for anywhere, just been keeping my eyes out for things that look half-interesting, and I’ve been checking out courses on the net and stuff.  Still trying to figure out this whole uni and tafe thing.  Like for instance, fashion would be cool to learn a little more about, but it appears to be a tafe course only, IF they even offer it, and uni seems to be too upper-class for it.  That’s just what I’m figuring here?  So I looked up a few fashion and tourism courses, but then there’s all the branches of them (fashion not so much, but tourism yes) lol – god, how do you know what to choose!? 

Anyway, so if work tries to fuck me over, at least I’m sorta preparing for what I’d like to do otherwise, in the event I leave or whatever.  Naomi said she isn’t gunna let me leave haha.  We’re like the only two openly gay people in the store, there’s about 4 others, but they are all closeted.

  WIMPS!  It’ll be good to see her again anyway.

My parent’s never really taught me much about how the whole post-education (past year 12) thing worked, so I’m really tryna figure it out on my own here.  It just seems so…I dunno…full on, with the uni-fees and the vast array of courses and not knowing what to choose even if you know what to do, and how your OP works with that course and whether my working experience can somehow lift that OP result to gain access to a certain course, to the course’s location (uni or tafe) not being anywhere near the course you want to do, to the amount of placements left IN a course!  Gah!  How do my friends who are in uni and stuff make it look so easy? lol.  They’ve never really spoken about how they got in either, they are just studying "such and such" at "wherever", and it’s like they’ve just clicked their fingers and it’s happened.  I’ve been told by a few friends it’s actually a really simple process.  Of course it is, if they are gunna make a few grand off of you doing a course, they’ll want to get you in there right?  Maybe I read into it too far.  I just want to understand it all before I make any decisions.  At the moment, I’m thinking a short (or long whatever) course in fashion design to see if I like it, and surely I can do that without having to cut too many work hours?  part of me thinks it’d be cool to go back to being casual, but that’s a big risk.  Extra $100 or $200 in the pocket tho if ya play you’re cards right.  One lazy guy at work is on like $200 more a week than me because he’s on 38 hours a week, but as a casual.  That pisses me off, when LAZY people get away with shit like that.

So, tomorrow at 4pm I find out what’s going on.  Perfect scenario would be that my manager’s dropped dead, because he might as well be for all the work he puts in!  I know the 2IC wants his job, and at least I know he would work.  I’d probably grow to hate working under him, but he’d be pretty good at his job.  I’m only slightly cautious saying that cos he’s always on the phone to his girlfriend EVERY night for ages at a time – yeah cos that’s working hard right?  Sure, I love to talk to a friend of mine when they come into work to see me, but how often does that happen? Once a month if that?  Not every fucking night.

I went to Loganholme with The_Blind_Archer last night to watch the men’s tennis final.  What a walk-over.  Basically it was shit – we both wanted to see a 5-setter.  We saw some awesome shots and Gonzalez should’ve had that first set, but it wasn’t to be.  Federer jsut needs some decent competition!  I almost find it boring watching him play cos he wins all the time!  Was great to hang out with Billy, and we had this cool waitress at the coffee club getting into the game as much as we were – she really favoured the underdog.  She was pretty too I thought.  Shoulda got her number lol!  I got The_Blind_Archer a good one though – he was checkin out this bird who was with her boyfriend and I suggested he reach across and grab her breast as she walked past, and he said ‘nah the boyfriend would kill me’ and i suggested it coulda been her brother.  He said he’d blame it on me and then I acted out my gay limp wrist and gay voice – I woulda who would get the punch? hehe.  We ended up watching the game in a pub because they had the fucking cricket on the big screen, and the coffee club screen was too small.  I was so full after a serving of Nando’s, a bruschetta and about 4 different drinks lol.

After I dropped Billy home (so happy my car made it and back), I was headed home on the inner-city bypass when I remembered I had a message.  it was from another friend of mine asking if I wanted to go to pancakes.  ‘Oh you’ve got to be kidding me’, so I exited and turned around and said i was on my way.  He said give me 20 mins to have a shower and I said i was already out driving so would be there soon.  There was a chance my ex could be home, but he wasn’t, so my nervousness died down a little and my friend was almost ready when I got there.  We went into the city and had pancakes and were served by the GAYEST waiter ever (how often do i say that? lol).  I told Lindsay that I kinda took a pill on Thursday night and I got the result I expected – ie. he almost ripped my head off lol – the fact that the pill had passed my lips but i hadn’t actually taken the whole thing was enough for him.  We did all our usual gay jokes, like me saying it’s not the only bad thing that’s passed through my lips 😛  I had strawberry patch pancakes and the worst-ever mocha I’ve ever tasted.  I’m convinced that it wasn’t cream on top, and joked that it must’ve been semen.  Needless to say I didn’t drink it.  It was gross.  We didn’t hang out long, and we went for our drive through the valley on the way home, I dropped him home, and then left for home.  I’m amazed I could fit so much food in my stomach.  I was so tired when I got home!

After all that, today I did nothing.  I’ll bet I’ll be wishing I was doing nothing when I get back into working this week.  But it’ll be good to keep myself busy anyway.  I gotta find my uniform and polish my workshoes.  I dunno when we gotta start wearing the new uniform – but I know it’s soon.

Have a great week everybody!