This is stupid

This is stupid.  This really is.  I’m tryna act cool and I have no doubt that when I do actually get to hang out with him that I will.  I already feel like I’m annoying him.  I’ve called him beautiful one time.  He was complaining about his weight some other time and I said ‘well clearly I think you’re sexy as’ and he’s like ‘yeah I know’ or something like that.
He seems to chat to me every time he sees me online and he comments on the stuff on my facebook, but I’m finding myself lately looking at the chat list to see if he’s in it.  He never has been when I’ve looked, he always messages me first.  I’m starting to feel obsessed in a way.  And that’s the last thing he needs – another stalker to add to his list.  He literally has a few guys who pretty much follow him around, like guys at his uni and stuff.  Now I’m finding myself always wanting to talk to him.  It’s been well over a month since we hooked up – probably one of the most memorable days of my year I’d even say, because I really wasn’t expecting it, I was just enjoying his company.  Then he leaned in and kissed me on the lips.  My arms and hands froze at my side and I was afraid of where to put them, and once I actually registered what was happening, they moved.  Yeah, REAL smooth Matt! 
And now I’m acting like a bloody schoolgirl, and feeling like it’s all in vain because I’ve had absolutely nothing back other than the occasional ‘We’ll see what happens’ and that kiss.  I think about his face and his body and his arse all the time, and it shits me that I get no reciprocation.  I’m almost near positive he’s got a few other guys on the horizon and I’m just one of the sitting ducks he can choose from.  I’m older than the guys he normally goes for.  he’s like 23, I’m nearing 27.  This might work completely against me.  I’ve liked him for longer than I think he realises, well before we even hooked up, and ever since then I’m feeling like there’s more and more less-hope. 
Been tryna play it cool but it’s been so long since I’ve even seen his face.  He wants to hang out next week.  I just miss him and want to cuddle him more than anything really.  A big part of me wishes he’d just tell me he wants to be friends purely so I can stop feeling like a complete one-sided-attraction-idiot.