The games girl’s play

This Fool’s Life – Elan

I don’t know where
we’re going but I’ll follow you until I get
there,
you know I will. ‘Cause I have no way of knowing
which direction it
is going, but it shows.

And
it’s a good thing I brought my eyes to see it happen. And
it’s a
good thing
I brought my eyes to see the
world turn.
It only happens once in this fool’s
life.

And I can be it
if I can see it
in the
clouds.
And I can’t be it
if I can’t see
it
in the crowd.

I can feel the earth below me
start to tremble before me, my heart’s
beatind, I must
be dreaming. ‘Cause I have no way of knowing which
direction it
is going, but it shows.

And it’s
a good thing I brought my eyes to see it happen. And it’s
a
good thing
I brought my eyes to see the world
turn.
It only happens once in this fool’s
life.

And I can be it
if I can see it
in the
clouds.
And I can’t be it
if I can’t see
it
in the crowd.

This song’s actually a few years old now but I only recently heard it, and it’s growing on me.  Weird.

May I just say a special congrats to tisk for getting the ‘we run this’ by missy elliott lyrics correct (and I may have a ‘gay taste’ in music, but hey you guessed most of them, so HA!), cos even i wasn’t sure if I typed out the lyrics correctly!  Haha, and well done to you all who guessed them!

Only one’s that weren’t answered were number’s 2 and 10, which were ‘Come To Me’ by Tina Cousins (shame on you for noyt knowing that haha) and ‘She Moves (la lala)" by Karaja, which is, yes, another really queeny jump up and down gay song.  And thank you for those who didn’t cheat or look of previously said answers, that says a lot about you, in a positive way of course 🙂

It’s 12:35am and I have to start work at 6am.  haha, fun times.  I originally was working 4:30pm til 9:30pm but my boss comes up to me and says ‘can you work early?  I just realised I’ve got no-one on in the morning’ – Haha, duhhh.

But my sleeping pattern is kinda fucked up anyways.  I got home at around 9:30, having worked today – it wasn’t too bad actually – and I rang a few of my girlfriends.  Well, I rang Luke too but he didn’t answer so I presume he’s out partying somewhere – he’s got a lot of friends so yeh he seems to be out a fair bit, or working.  I miss him though, and I’m pretty sure he forgot about my birthday, but oh well.

So I spoke to Kiki first when I got home.  I was originally gunna go over and see her as she’s here in Brisbane at the moment, but noooo, I had to work today didn’t i – on all the mondays I would’ve NOT worked, today’s the day i had to.  So I rang her and we talked a bit.  I think we were both a bit tired though, but it was good to catch up a bit, even if it was over a voice connection.  After that I rang another one of my girlfriends cos I realised it had been forever since I’d spoken to her, and there were a few silences, but it seems to be that way between us when we’re looking for things to talk about haha, but in person we seem to be fine.  She’d just finished work too so I talked to her when she got home.  She’s doing well, and used to have an account here on OD, but doesn’t use it anymore.  Oh well.

Yesterday I hung out with my mate Jason.  We were originally gunna see a movie but the times didn’t match when we got there and nothing was on we wanted to see anyway, so we ended up just grabbing cocktails (I had a universe, he had a strawberry cloud) and catching up.  We then playeda game of air hockey, but he kicked my ass, so it was only one – i wasn’t gunna pay anoither buck to get my ass whipped, unless it was in another way 😉  Hey c’mon, you knew that was comin’… yeh i might leave that one.  I was telling him about my prank present I’m thinking of giving my lesbian workmate (see two entries ago) and he thinks it’s a great idea, and I was talking to another guy on msn last night who suggested a few more things to put in it, like a dildo and a power-drill.  I nearly lost it laughing when he mentioned a power-drill.  How fucking appropriate!  Anyway I found out jas had never been to pancakes, so I took him there, and he loves it.  I paid for his dessert and said to consider it a Christmas present from me.  He called me a sweetheart haha.  He’s a pretty cool guy, like he really goes for what he wants in life and he’s pretty funny – not to mention the picture of a girl he showed me on his phone who he is apparently messing around with – my god she looks like a supermodel!  I was like ‘DAYAM man!’ and asked how he met her – it was a pretty hot story.  So the movie idea wasn’t on but he said we might try for it tomorrow night as it’s cheap-tuesday, or tight-ass tuesday.  He wants to see Jackass 2 but I reckon I’d be sqirming in my seat haha – apparently one of them shoves a leech up his nose – god the sheer thought of that psychologically makes me shudder lol.  I checked today and it seems to only be playing at the megaplex’s so yeh might have to go there, and I’m pretty sure it must be about to end.  He invited me out to Somerset Dam for New Years too, where him and some mates and his family waterski every year.  The idea sounds awesome but I wouldn’t go unless I could convince a few mates of mine to come along too, that and people seeing me shirtless – yeh kinda intimidating atm.  I’ve had a few offers for new years – that and a party at a friends house, but I’m pretty sure they’ll all be fucked up on drugs, and the idea of spending New Years indoors isn’t that appealing to me.  Normally I hit up South bank and watch the fireworks.  I’m kinda still deciding though.

Maybe some of my female favourites can answer a question for me… Going on what one of my male favourites has said, and the story of how Jason met his current chick, I’m wondering why it seems women play such mind games.  Is it a protective thing?  A shy way out of an unwanted situation?  Shed me some light here.  I mean even when I was at a camp one year in my teens, this chick came up to me and said "Somebody at this camp likes you".  Two Hundred people at this camp mind you!  And I’m like ‘Who!?’ – I only found out later on that it was actually her.  So why wouldn’t she just come right out and SAY that?  What was I gunna do? Go up to every chick and ask if it was them, then cop it later on when it’s actually her and i’m looking at other chicks?

  Haha, okay maybe going a bit too far, but I’m just saying, wouldn’t the outright spoken truth be so much easier than beating around the bush?  I mean I’m going on my perspective here, being gay, so I don’t have much experience in the way of the woman’s mind, but so many of my awesome male friends are so confused by their girlfriends or whatever.  My best mate has just gotten to the stage of being intimate with his girlfriend after well over a year of going out, and she goes along with it and then she like freaks out and says to go back to kissing, which he happily does cos he loves her, but it get so frustrating for him cos they’ll be doing intimate stuff for like a month or so and all of a sudden it’ll be back to kissing.  It somewhat kills him, it really does.  And I love him, he’s my best mate and I never like seeing him hurt, and when he tries to talk about it, does she wanna talk? nope.  He talks to me about it and all I can say is ‘That’s the way a girl’s mind works I guess’.  He’s left to put the pieces of the puzzle together.  I realise not all women are like this, but can the ones who aren’t, please tell me why the ones who are, do what they do?  Thanks, I appreciate it and I apologise if anything I said stereotyped or offended any of my female readers.

I mean there’s so many things I hate about being gay, but the amount of times my straight friends come to me just for advice or to simply talk (which I love don’t get me wrong – cos straight guys expressing their emotions is like the purest thing ever) kinda makes me glad I am sometimes.  Gay guys aren’t that much better, but at least the boyfriend’s I’ve had have been able to open up, most of the time.

I love my friends talking to me.  Sitting down at a cafe or somewhere talking with a good friend is very theraputic for me.  It’s such a good feeling laughing together and having a good time, and I’ve been realising that a lot the past few weeks.  What better feeling is there than the feeling of acceptance?  That you’ve got a friend who’ll listen, no matter how deep in shit you are!  I’d love to be that person, the ear.  I only wish I had a few more adventures to remember, cos I hadn’t been a very good conversationalist growing up, so I’ve had to practice and keep conversations going and stuff, but hey I think it’s more the me trying to be myself thing that’s allowed me to be more.. well me.  If that makes any sense.  If I wasn’t at work so often and I had a mate ring me up to ask me to coffee, I’d be right there.

I guess I really do have a lot of love to give, but not enough friends to give it to.  I’d really like to change that…