Tears of Desire

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone just she and I
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn’t know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it’s finished
It’s all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow…

For some reason today I’m very emotional.  Only really since I’ve arrived home.  Lukey was home from Toowoomba and, although he was now home, I felt like I was so wanting him.  I changed out of my work clothes and laid on the bed in a bid to keep warm, and he came in the room and noticed there were tears in my eyes.  I couldn’t stop thinking of him and how much he meant to me.  I told him I loved him and that he is my angel.  Maybe somewhere inside I’m afraid of losing him.  He gets his test results back tomorrow which I know he’s somewhat nervous about, and I guess I am too, especially when other stupid paranoia sets in.  Luke hugged me heaps until the point where I was just being too clingy and he really wanted to go shower.  I just felt like all the cuddling in the world was what I needed tonight from him.  Just to make me feel safe, to make me feel like everything is okay, as though his arms around my body would solve all problems and scaredness I was feeling inside.  Well I seem to be okay now so it must’ve worked 🙂  I’m off to join him now.  I’ll probably be thinking of him constantly tomorrow as well.  Guess it all depends on how I sleep tonight.  Hope I get up early enough to pay rent tomorrow.  Gosh so this is how I become after 4 months of a relationship with the most incredible guy in the world, all mushy and gooey haha.  Something was just so ‘up’ tonight.  Probably just something sleep can help fix.  I hate when I get teary-emotional cos my thoughts work on over-drive, like delve really deeply into whatever I’m already thinking.  Sometimes to the point where it can be life-changing.  Thanks Luke, for stopping me before I got to that point.  You being there made it all better.