I would never forget this moment…

We’re All In This Together – ‘High School Musical’ Cast

Together, together, together everyone
Together, together, come on lets have some fun
Together, were there for each other every time
Together together come on lets do this right

Here and now its time for celebration
I finally figured it out (yeah yeah)
That all our dreams have no limitations
That’s what its all about

Everyone is special in their own way
We make each other strong (each other strong)
Were not the same
Were different in a good way
Together’s where we belong

We’re all in this together
Once we know
That we are
We’re all stars
And we see that
We’re all in this together
And it shows
When we stand
Hand in hand
Make our dreams come true

Together, together, together everyone
Together, together, come on lets have some fun
Together, were there for each other every time
Together together come on lets do this right

We’re all here
and speaking out with one voice
we’re going to rock the house (yeah, yeah)
the party’s on now everybody make some noise
come on scream and shout

We’ve arrived becuase we stuck together
Champions one and all

We’re all in this together
When we reach
We can fly
Know inside
We can make it
We’re all in this together
Once we see
There’s a chance
That we have
And we take it

Wild cats sing along
Yeah, you really got it goin’ on
Wild cats in the house
Everybody say it now
Wild cats everywhere
Wave your hands up in the air
That’s the way we do it
Lets get to it
Time to show the world

We’re all in this together
Once we know
That we are
We’re all stars
And we see that
We’re all in this together
And it shows
When we stand
Hand in hand
Make our dreams come true

Wild cats everywhere
Wave your hands up in the air
That’s the way we do it
Let’s get to it
Come on everyone!

My God did I have some hot sex dreams last night or WHAT?!  DAYAM!  I love it when I have sex dreams.  They seem so real, they can pretty much go anywhere, and in the one’s I seem to have, the other person involved is always male, GORGEOUS, usually well endowed and it’s usually happening in a weird location or venue.  I can only remember bits of it now as I type this, as it’s not night-time, and I woke up over 12 hours ago, but for some reason a clean street or sidewalk comes to mind?  Gee, gettin’ risky aren’t I? *grins*

Yeah, so I woke up before my alarm – I’ve been doing that a lot lately – and kept closing my eyes trying to get myself back into that wonderous dream.  I felt all cosy and warm and pleased and the whole dream had me turned on.  I slept on top of one of my blanket’s last night and had another one over the top of me, and when I awoke, my legs were hanging out, so my groin area up to my shoulders were covered up.  I’ve been trying to take note of the situation I’m in when I awake, after I’ve had a sex dream, and that position (with the fan going) may have been enough to cause me to have a sex dream.  I wear boxer’s to bed, but that’s it, and usually I don’t have sex dreams or even wake up with a morning glory.  Most times when I have these sorts of dreams I wake up with one, but I don’t even recall it happening this morning.  I was more semi-hard, and just really happy that it was such an awesome dream.  It wasn’t so much erotic, but a major turn on.  So strange.  They say when you dream about having sex, you’re craving affection.  Maybe I am?  So then why does the whole idea of a relationship piss me off these days?  I’m a weird one – hopefully this diary will help me figure myself out over time.  My thoughts and my thoughts only pretty much tell you that I had to be a gay guy, because if my whole life and the way I live it is a psychological condition, then I need a brand new category of my own.  No shrink could tell me what to think.  Let’s see, right now I’m…Gay, Christian, A commitment-phobe, but I have so much love to give, Open to the idea of having sex with a female (yes I haven’t mentioned it before as such and doubt it will ever happen, but there are a slight few chicks who I find attractive – mainly I’d want to see if it really does feel like ‘warm apple pie’ – also I think it has a bit to do with the true definition of losing one’s ‘virginity’ (might be a straight-friend influence), I love my family and all my friends, I’m excited about going on holidays in January, I dream of owning my own house and contents, but it’s never gunna happen hahahahaha (might as well laugh about it), and basically I’m searching for more to put in this little list, so I’m gunna stop now.  I consider myself fairly smart, even though I’m not a uni-student, and I’m pretty confident most of the time.  I can cry the most emotional of tears and I can feel absolutely nothing.  My vast array of emotions could stretch on over the horizon, I’m sure.  Sometimes I htink of pooling my thoughts back into poetry, like I used to do years ago, although I look back on those poems now and think ‘God that was shit.’  The only one I can stand is my one I wrote on child abuse, where there’s only a few line’s I don’t like.  I think I wrote that when I was about 15 or something!

Child Abuse – © Matt Pfeffer 1998

In the household, there’s nothing but fights
And No-one cares about your rights
You cry in shock as you’re pushed down the stairs
But you realise then, no-one really cares

You lay there in pain, you’re parents are insane
But what can you do – Abusiveness is cruel
Slaps across the face are all you receive
From a family of anger and greed

You try to escape, try to break free
But the door is locked, there is no key
You’re stuck here forever, no place to go
The worst thing is, there’s no proof to show

When they’re among others they act really cool
But when they get you alone, they’re worse

than cruel
You’re beaten and struck, stuck in a living hell
And there’s no-one to listen, No-one to tell

Even if there was, you wouldn’t have dared
You’re very cautious and totally scared
‘Cos you know if you told, or showed your scars
Your parents would beat you with metal bars

Why do they do this?  You have a slight idea
Your father has an obsession with beer
And the reason why your mum is so wild
Is because she, also, was abused as a child.

Yeah, so, there it is – lol!  God, I can’t believe I still have the original copy of that – I actually just typed it out from my tattered old notebook I bought from a discount shop in South Australia.  I even remember buying it.  I guess that book was one of my many escape routes growing up.  It’s full of silly little poems and song parodies I wrote as a teenager.  I’m still trying to track down my old diary hehe, I wonder where the hell it is.

Work wasn’t bad today.  I kept giving my workmate who’s leaving sorrowful puppy dog looks to make her feel as bad as possible about leaving 🙂  I am seriously going to miss her, and I know what I’m going to write in her card tomorrow – or maybe the card we’ll give her next Saturday at her going-away drinks > "I don’t think you realise how much I have grown to love and adore you as the person you are.  Words in this card can’t express how much fun and joy you’ve brought to my life, all from being yourself, and I’m going to miss you more than you’ll realise."  I think that’ll do – I’m acting like she’s going overseas, when in reality she’s only transferring stores to one not really that far away.  But it still means I won’t see her anywhere near as often 🙁  She was trying to find out what our plans were for organising her going away, but none of us would tell her anything *grins*

So yeah, she informed me I work with her for 4 and a half hours tomorrow, before she leaves.  She has to work on Sunday, but I don’t work that day, and that will be it.  It’s like that whole waving goodbye from the shore sorta thing.

I thought that was appropriate hehe – I was looking at them last night and thought ‘ooo that one will fit in good right about now’ 🙂 

Now this was a ‘me’ entry – i feel much better when I’m myself and don’t give a shit. 

Mwah.