I can hear the birds chirping

I should’ve known this would happen.  I’ve been asleep since midday and awoke at midnight.  A potential housemate came for an interview at about 5:30pm and I told Andrew I’d be awake for it.  What did I do?  Hit snooze on my alarm over and over didn’t I?  So I think I heard voices but I don’t remember much.  Sucks I didn’t get to meet the guy and I’m sure Andrew will be annoyed, but for God’s sakes, what does he expect?  I’ve been doing the most fucked up hours possible, especially for someone who’s used to day shift.  If I was a regular night worker I wouldn’t complain, but my sleep’s all out of whack and I reckon I’ll be awake til about midday when I need to sleep again.  It’s currently 4:30am as I type this and I don’t even feel tired.  I spose you don’t after 12 hours sleep.  I know I have to be at my normal job for a 6am start on Monday morning, so I know I’m gunna have to force myself to stay awake tomorrow until nighttime, but I’m pretty sure it won’t happen, then I’ll have to sleep away Monday, but then I don’t have to work until Tuesday night.  I don’t even know when to sleep anymore, it’s ridiculous.  I might as well just pass out when I pass out, cos tryna figure this out is bullshit.

Ok sleep rant over.  Didn’t do much today (yesterday) cept I went shopping when the shops opened after I got home from work.  being Saturday morning I had to wait an HOUR for a train cos of damn weekend timetables, and I kicked myself for not driving to work for my Friday/Saturday shift like I told myself earlier in the week I would.

I feel like I’m literally going insane.  I’ve already got myself in the not-working stage, even though I’ve still got another 2 weeks to go.  I’m going to work and not even giving a shit.  I’m calling in sick using up my sick days when I’m not sick at all, because I know they won’t get paid out to me.  I seriously feel I just need to get away from everything.  I need to go somewhere to chill out and relax and not think about shit like this.  I just want to not work already.

I’ve had a few friends tell me they’ll look out for jobs for me, which is really nice of them, and I’ve thought about it, but right now the last thing I want to image myself doing is another 38 hour work week and not even having a break.  I just need to get away, to clear my head, to fuck the world.  Really over this shit.  It’s nearly 5am, no-ones awake to talk to on msn even – I feel alone.

I missed my mates birthday party tonight and woke up at midnight to about 8 missed calls and 4 messages on my phone.  I really wanted to go to that too, but nope, I was asleep.  Really over this shit.  Really am.

Great, I can hear the bird’s chirping.