I am the fucked-up one

Hmmm I’ve realised I really am fucked in the head lately.  Relationship-wise, with everything that’s been going on, I am the one with the problems, not anyone else.  Oh well.  It’s kinda depressing feeling like you’re at a dead-end when it comes to dating guys, but I think I’ve felt like this before, maybe not quite to this extent, and time heals all wounds, so to speak.

I hung out with Billy on Tuesday night.  It was a lotta fun!  I always love hanging out with Billy and we’ve gotten a lot closer since high school.  We had dinner at The Brewhouse (Bill’s recommendation) where I had a rump steak and veges and salad with mushroom sauce – gee it was so delicious!  Not a bad price either.  Although I think a neer would’ve cost less than the coke I ordered did haha.  We ate dinner there and talked about all sorts of stuff, reminised on high school and I heard some funny stories that Bill got up to with his best mate Sean. 

After the brewhouse we went to the pool place we’d gone to the last time we hung out.  There was this nice asian chick behind the counter this time, and we opted to go for the big pool table.  God I had some flukey shots, although my game was pretty pathetic that night haha.  Billy creamed my ass – oh wait that didn’t sound good – Bill kicked my ass, 3 games to 1, and I only won the last game because he nicely pocketed one of my balls – oh boy I should just give up, shouldn’t i? lol!  Probably freaking the poor guy out.  Anyway check out his blog, he may ahve even written about the night, or maybe something completely different, who knows, I haven’t read it yet.  Bill ordered three VB’s, and I managed to drink one of them, despite me not really being a fan of the bitter taste of beer.  But it either made my game good or bad haha.  Couldn’t decide.  I did pull off a few flukey shots though, but Bill had the game in his pocket from the first ball I reckon.

After the pool hall we were tryna decide what to do.  I ended up going back to his place, to check it out, and at least I know where he lives now.  Well I kinda do, if I could remember how to get there.  I could probably remember if I caught the city-cat, as I’ve been to that terminal before when I got lost once.  We were gunna catch the city-cat there but realised we’d just missed it.  I had my camera there so we took some photo’s.  Bill spotted some cute possums which I was trying to get a photo of, but I wasn’t quite quick enough.  So I got a few blurred photos of us two anyway – one of the streetlights was right behind the photo.  Oh well. 🙂

And the one of me I spose I should put up too.  But I’m just saying if you want more interesting photo’s, go back an entry LOL…

We ended up walking to West End and Bill flagged down a taxi once we were there.  A short trip later we arrived at Bill’s house.  I met one of Bill’s housemate’s, who was cool, and I got the grand-tour lol.  We ended up playing Trivial Pursuit but we both only got to have two pieces in our playing thingies (lol I dunno what they are called) before I realised I had to go to catch transport to catch my last train home.

My cab driver was a pretty nice guy.  A $10 trip later I arrived at Southbank station, where I waited about 12 minutes for the next train, and when I got off at Central, I ran and JUST made my Caboolture train as the doors closed behind me, and I was on my way home.  Gee talk about great timing – I just made it!  Woohoo!

Luke messaged me on the way home.  He finally broke the ice and spoke to me.  He was in Brisbane cos he’d been at the cricket match at the GABBA.  He ended up calling me, and he was upset, and I didn’t want him to drive all the way back to Toowoomba in the condition he was in, so I offered him to come over.  He stayed the night.  It was strange in the way that from someone who wasn’t going to talk to me, here he was in the same bed as me.  Not that he had a choice.  It was good to see him anyway and we had a lotta fun playing around being silly.  I got to sleep at some ridiculous hour, and woke up with about 2 hours to spare before I started work.  Luke drove home today.  I’m not sure if he’s going to speak to me, but all I want is for us to be normal friends, and be the way we used to be.  Not have this…confusing barrier between our normal conversation and feelings.  I guess it will take time.  I know I am the fucked up one.  Just for now.  I’ll find a way out of it.