Goodbye Beaver ;(

My baby is gone ;(

R.I.P 073BVR ("Beaver"), my companion, my love, my creator of so many fun times and anguish over the years.

I shall miss you more than you’ll ever know.

Yeah, so today I finally bit the bullet and made a decision.  Researched online the closest wrecking yard close to me that I thought my car may make it to, which it did.  The website was decent and even had an up to date blog.  Unfortunately however as I handed the car over, the staff were your typical boganites, which I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised about.

I didn’t get anything for her, and it annoyed me, but I’m trying to focus on the positive side of things, which I’ll list below.

They took off my plates for me.  I’d brought along a screwdriver in my sachet bag for that purpose.  This isn’t the first time I’ve taken a car to the wreckers.  My old Holden Commodore VC ’81 is in some yard on the northside in Carseldine. 
And now, my precious baby is in a car yard on the southside in Salisbury.  She sounded terrible driving there, but I was proud of her for making it.

When I was walking home from work this morning is when I was really pondering what to do and how to go about it 🙁  It’s Friday and my rego runs out on Monday, so it was the last weekday to be able to not only get rid of my vehicle, but also de-register my vehicle.

I did the same thing I did as I was driving my Holden to the wreckers all those years ago.  I slid my hand along the dashboard, thanking her for so many years of fun times and taking me from point A to Point B, and as many other letter-points during the same day as well.  She definitely held up and lived a good life, but unfortunately, today was D-Day. 

I felt like I was betraying my own child.  Not only did I feel like I was giving her away – I was sending her to her death.

It wasn’t until I’d peeled off my permit from the inside windscreen and asked the guy if everything was all set and I walked out of that wrecking yard that it all set in.  The tears fell.  I shit you not.  I was sobbing like a little bitch, also in shock that I’d actually gone through with that.

I found a bus stop not far from where I was, but saw a bus pass earlier, and although I was three minutes earlier, I knew that bus had been way early and therefore I had missed it.  I saw one cab pass, and then there were no more for ages, and the more I thought about what had just happened and what I did, the more upset i got… to the point where the waterworks exploded out of my face.

I was a complete MESS!!!  It was almost embarrassing.  Actually, it kinda was.  I literally felt like I’d given up on someone SO so special to me 🙁  I was texting Nic, and he was being nice consoling me saying things like ‘I wish there was something I could do’ and that he understands how we can get so emotionally attached to things.  I really was attached to that car.  I can’t even remember when I bought it, but if I’ve lived here for going on 5 years then GOD I must’ve gotten nearly 6 years out of that car.  It was my parents old car that I bought from them for $5000 back in the day.  Even I thought that was a complete rip-off, but I was being the nice son and helping them out with extra money so that they could buy a new car.

It didn’t help that back at the wreckers, the guy was telling me that he was gunna take the car down to the yard and explode it and that in about an hour and a half it would be under 8 tons of metal 🙁 

I didn’t need to hear that.  It didn’t even make sense to me.  The car still ran – albeit terribly, but it still ran.  Why couldn’t they fix it up and make some money off it?  Part of me is optimistic that he just lied to me.  Even I know there are some good parts within that car, and even he agreed that the battery was good.

I was walking along the side of the main road, bawling my eyes out!  I considered whipping out my phone and sitting in a field and making a video entry for this entry.  It woulda been classic to look back on and see me creating Niagra Falls over the demise of my darling car.

I’m still sad.  I don’t know how to tell my parents that the car they drove for so many years is now probably no more.  I even thought about asking them if they wanted it back.  But I didn’t.  I made my decision and I’m trying to tell myself it’s a good thing.  I have this feeling dad will feel disbelief that the car he drove us all around in for years is now a crushed piece of scrap-metal.  That’s if he loved it as much as I do. 

I feel like I can’t forgive myself.  I had to keep telling myself that the car doesn’t have feelings as I was driving it there lol.  Fuck I’m LAME! 🙁

I now have 8 months of RACQ membership going to waste, but I no longer have to pay my $680 annual registration bill, no more fuel costs, no more repairs, no insurance.  No more car expenses.  I’ve also created an extra parking space in my suburb. 

And of course on the commute back, I pass every single new and used car yard, and take note of the prices.  But I think that’s the last time I buy a second-hand car.  The next time I buy a car, whenever that may be, it’ll be new.  But for now and probably many more years, I’m back to joining the rest of the scum who catch public transport.  Okay okay, it’s only a select few who cause trouble, but I’ll have to get used to it.

I then went to Queensland Transport and filled out the right form and handed in my old worn-out number plates.  The lady said she could tell how old my car was from the letters on the number plate and the fact my number plates were so much heavier than the currents ones as well haha.  I only had 2 days left of registration so there was no refund for 2 days, and that was all over and done with quickly.

Bye bye Beaver.  I loved you and always will.

*tears filling eyes finishing this entry*

XO